The Worst 30 Minutes of Football

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There was 4:32 left in the first half, and the Detroit Lions found themselves down 10-3 to the Ravens.  The Lions had actually played a very solid game up until then.  They had already amassed 176 yards of offense and had had two drives of 10+ plays and over 50 yards.  If it weren't for a couple miscues on 3rd and short and another missed field goal from Jason Hanson, they may have actually been leading at this point in the game. 

Even the defense had been somewhat stout.  True they had given up gains of 52 and 60 yards, but they had stepped up when they needed to.  Larry Foote forced a fumble in the red zone, and Detroit held strong when the Ravens threatened late in the first quarter, holding them to just a field goal.

But then something happened. 

Some Lions fan somewhere must've kicked Buddha (who is a big football fan, by the way*) in the nuts, because vengeance was poured down upon Jim Schwartz and his puny little team. In what was a very un-Buddha like punishment, the Lions crawled off the field on Sunday the whippee's of a 48-3 spanking at the hand of the Ravens.

Let's break down Buddha's unforgiving wrath:

• The next drive of the game was a quick 4-play drive that ended in Ray Rice going 59 yards for a touchdown.
• The Lions then went three and out. Er...check that. The Lions ran for four yards, got sacked, and then Daunte Culpepper threw an interception. I don't think it counts as a three and out when the "three" and the "out" are simultaneous.
• Baltimore drives half the field and tacks on another three. The ensuing kickoff is returned to the five yard line. Unfortunately for the Lions, it was their own five yard line, effectively ending the half.
• The Ravens quickly squash any hopes of a second half comeback when their opening drive goes 11 plays and 74 yards for a touchdown, putting the score at 27-3.
• Lions three and out.
• Baltimore 6 plays, 61 yards, 34-3.
• Lions three and out.
• Baltimore 6 plays, 70 yards, 41-3.
• Lions attempt three and out, but are bailed out by a fourth down facemask call. Buddha, angered by this obvious miscue, decides to go after Detroit's only bright spot of the past two games, Kevin Smith, and explodes his knee on the next play. Three plays later, Daunte is picked off again.

So if you're keeping score, from 4:32 left in the first half to 13:21 left in the game, the Ravens put up 31 points to Detroit's zero and 316 yards of offense to Detroit's 60.

I could finish the game, but since I couldn't finish watching it, there's no point.  I don't remember any time in my Lions fandom in which I actually uttered the words, "Can we watch a different game for the fourth quarter?" but I really couldn't stand to watch it any longer. 

At one point in the game, Schwartz called a timeout to cuss out his defense, hoping to light some fire that had burned out long ago.  Two plays later, Willis McGahee trotted in from 19 yards after breaking a couple of two-hand-touch attempts.  Buddha's belly bounced up and down with laughter.

Okay, now time for some actual analysis.

Even though this was the most miserable attempt at football I have seen in awhile, I'm not all that distressed by what I've seen.  In the end it was one game.  A team with nothing left to play for against a team that desperately needed a win.  A team whose young starting quarterback was given a week's vacation against a team whose young starting quarterback is starting to come back to life. 

Detroit's secondary needs to take a lot of blame for this game.  If Rice is running for 5-10 yards on each play, then put it on the linebackers.  But the Ravens had eight rushes of over 10 yards on Sunday.  After Louis Delmas went down late in the 2nd quarter, the safeties must have combined for more missed tackles than Delmas has had in the entire season.  If missed tackles were points, the Lions would've won on Sunday by a landslide and Marvin White would be the league leader in scoring.  

But none of this is really a surprise.  The Lions have absolutely no depth in the secondary after a ton of injuries have decimated their already poor crew. 

We already knew that Daunte couldn't really lead this offense.  If anything, he performed above my expectations.  In the first half, it actually seemed like our offense was somewhat competent. 

So even though I witnessed the worst football I've ever seen by this team across a period of two quarters, I feel no different about this team than I did last week.  It's still a team led by a handful of guys with talent, with absolutely no depth at any position on the roster.  So I'm putting this one behind us and hoping that Buddha does the same. 

*In case you couldn't tell from his size, he's a Packers fan