Star Wars: The Lions Strike Back

I posted this in one of the other threads, but I thought I'd put it all together for a quick laugh.  Think Star Wars and the Yoda / Luke scene....


Annoyed at the opeing game loss, Luke looks over at Artoo, who is rocking
urgently back and forth in front of him.

Artoo waddles closer to Luke, chirping wildly, then scoots over the
edge of the Ford Field.  Catching on that the Lions are ready to lose to the Vikings, Luke rushes to the field's edge.  The team is starting to sink, and only a few minutes are left in regulation

Luke:  "Oh, no.  We'll never win now."

Yoda:  "So certain are you? Always with you, it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?”

Luke:  “Master losing to the Saints is one thing, but the Vikings are totally different”

Yoda:  “No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.”

Luke:  “Alright, I’ll give it a try.”

Yoda:  “No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

Luke closes his eyes and concentrates on thinking the team down to the endzone.

Slowly, the offensive line begins to open a hole for Kevin Smith.  It pushes
for a moment and then slides back, and Kevin Smith disappears once again into the defense.

Luke:  "I can't move it.  The Williams Wall is too big"

Yoda:  “Size matters not. Look at Dominic Raiola. Judge him by his size do you? And well you should not. For his ally is the Schwartz. And a powerful ally he is.

Mayhew hired him and let him grow. His energy surrounds us and binds us. Lion’s fans are we…. not crude Vi-queens.

You must feel the Schwartz around you. Here, between you… me… Drew BreesBrett Favre… everywhere! Yes, even between the Vikings defensive line and Jeff Backus."

Luke:  “You want the impossible”

Yoda turns toward the field. With his eyes closed and
his head bowed, he raises his arm and points at the players.

Soon, the team rises from the snap and moves forward as Artoo
beeps in terror and scoots away.

The entire offensive line moves majestically, surely, toward the defense. Yoda,
standing on the sidelines, guides the team carefully down the field.

Luke stares in astonishment as Kevin Smith gracefully settles down into the endzone.
He walks toward Yoda.

Luke:  “I don’t… I don’t believe it.”

Yoda:  “That is why you fail”

Luke shakes his head, bewildered.

All in good fun guys... all in good fun.  I'm at work... it's Friday... I'm bored.  My mind is already at Ford Field.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Pride Of Detroit or its writers.

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