Disclaimer: This post is barely about the Lions so please feel free to comment, disregard, or recommend it's immediate removal from POD. I just have to get this off my chest and I've always found this spot to be great therapy when my brain is fried after another Lions game.
For starters, I couldn't be happier that it will be over a week between games. Normally I'm annoyed during a bye week, or the week after the Thanksgiving Day game simply because I'm anxious to get back to football. This time, I need a breather. Like many of you, I suspect, I have a tough time not getting emotionally wrapped up in this team (good or bad). This past Thursday, however, I went WAY over the top and for that I offer my apologies to the Interweb in hopes that I can begin to forgive myself for my actions.
Although I have attended close to 100 Lions games over the years, this past Thursday was the 1st time I've had the privilege to attend the annual Turkey Day Classic. I was stoked, we got down early to tailgate, and the 1st half of football was more than I could have hoped for against the vaunted New England Patriots and the "Why wasn't he this good at Michigan" talents of Mr. Tom Brady. While it was a good crowd, it was nearly impossible to ignore the fact that the Pats fans had come out in droves. After the second half collapse that was taking place it became actually impossible to ignore them. I found myself sitting amongst dozens of Patriots fans and some of them were really starting to grind my gears (to steal a line from Mr. Peter Griffin). It didn't help that I was watching the all out implosion of the boys in Honolulu Blue, and needless to say I was no longer stoked or even in a very "Thanks" giving mood. A group of fans (a family to be specific) happened to be sitting right next to me in the smack dab middle of the row. Although relatively quiet the whole game they were the type of group that simply can't stay in their seats for more than a play or two. You know the type: Mom gets up for sodas, Dad gets up a couple plays later for hot dogs, two plays later the kids gotta go to the bathroom, then on the next play Mom realizes she's gotta go too, and of course it is WAY too much to ask that they coordinate their trips to or from their seats or even god forbid wait for a timeout. Sorry for the rant, but this is an annoyance no matter what event your attending, it doesn't excuse my forthcoming behavior, but people really do need to get their shit together.
It was around the 30th time these people asked me to get up (in spite of being in the middle of the row there must have been a force field in the other direction because they never once went that way) I gave Dad a look, thought better of it and let them through. Literally one play later Mom and Son decide it's time for them to go to and I was once again asked to get up although at this point there was no one sitting in the other direction. Maybe it was the annoyance, maybe it was the magnitude of the slaughter going on down on the field (I haven't seen the Patriots tear apart the locals like that since the 1st Thanksgiving...zing!), maybe it was the much louder more obnoxious Patriot fans screaming in my ear behind me for the last hour, maybe it was the fact that Mom and Son were wearing Patriots jerseys, maybe I'm just a flat out asshole and nothing more. Whatever it was (or combination), I snapped. First I told Son I wasn't moving, when he turned confused to Mom I re-iterated my inability to get to my feet for her. When she started questioning my logic I let her have it like she was the sole reason the Lions were getting their ass kicked, like she was the reason the Lions had two lousy wins all season, like she was the reason Millen was hired, Barry retired early, Ford owns the team, Layne cursed the franchise, even the reason that my bike got stolen back in 5th grade. This was all verbal mind you (not that it makes it less despicable but I would never hit a female), but eventually Mom saw it my way and went the other direction.
The reason for this post, as I mentioned before, is that I am using this for therapy. I know what I did was down right inexcusable, deplorable, disgusting and just flat out ridiculous. Obviously that lady and her poor kid had nothing to do with what was ailing me at the time (other than being annoying with the frequent trips to and from their seats). My verbal tirade did nothing to make me feel better, and in fact probably ruined both mine and their Thanksgiving. So I apologize annoying lady and son, I apologize to the poor people around me who had to witness such a sorry display of humanity, I apologize to all fans who have encountered "that guy" during their attendance of some event, it won't happen again.