I'm Bored...it's Haiku Time!!!

I was over at Armchair Linebacker, and posted this in a Haiku thread started there.  Feel free to add your own Haikus and have fun with it...:o)

Stafford:
Offseason man whore
He likes to f**k the hotties
A walking boner

Best:
Faster than lightning
Agile like a hummingbird
Ow, my f**king head

CJ:
Leaping like Jordan
Megatron really flies
No defender wins

Burleson:
Expectations high
But just a possession guy
Not a number two

Young:
His namesake fits him
Unrealized potential
He has room to grow

Pettigrew:
Some say "Pettibeast"
He sure is big at the least
We hope for less drops

Scheffler:
Do not celebrate
Slick like a chameleon
He steals your dances

Raiola:
Size like Olin Kruetz
A zone blocker with no push
The captain is gay

Peterman:
No push, just like Dom
Run blocking is his weakness
On his knees a lot

Sims:
A great addition
The best of our run blockers
Maybe a has been

Cherilus:
Not a dancing bear
A hot seat, poor performer 
He might be a bust

Backus:
Durable and tough
The anchor is slipping now
He must be replaced

Leshoure:
No hero of Troy
What was once fatal, now not
Will he be the same?

Hanson:
The leading scorer
When he comes on he's money
Old reliable

Logan:
Stupid f**king rule
Ruining a great talent
Need to use him more

Donahue:
He beat Nick Harris
He is not as good as him
Hanson must be pissed

Shaun Hill:
Dink and dunk, west coast
A game manager at best
He is no Stafford

Drew Stanton:
Tebow take a seat
This kid can run AND pass it
Better than Shaun Hill