*Scene* A beautiful Sunday at 12:30 pm at a bar in Detroit, MI.  The Lions are playing the Bucs in the first game of the season.  All of the regulars start to pile in for the first rousing Lions game of the season.  We zoom in to see the first regular arrive, Sean Yuille.

Bartender: Surprise, surprise.  Sean's the first to arrive.

Sean: I don't sleep.  Ever.  

Bartender:  You must use drugs, kid...

Sean(Eyes wide open)(twitching): The Lions are my drug.  Links, news, fist pumps....no time to sleep.

*Enter Drewslions*: Hey Sean!  How are you buddy?

Sean(mumbling): Lions signed UDFA Billy Greenwood from Georgia Tech.  Thursday's practice went well, Fairley back in action....

Drew: Anyway...I really hope that yoohoo Joshsun doesn't show up today.  I really don't want another drunken bar fight today, my mom was really pissed last time...Maybe I should take my Jim Schwartz' jersey off....

*Enter Evilsmurf*: You know guys, I don't think Schwartz is a bad coach.  You got a minute or 40 to let me tell you why?  

Sean&Drew: Uhhhh.....well.....(whispers) maybe KDawg will show up, that'll at least be a litter shorter.

*Door slams in*  Enter Profiler(arm around porn star): Hey fellas.  Mind if Bree sits with us today?

*Jaws drop*(In unison): No of course not, there's a seat right beside me!

Profiler: Yeah, saw Enforcer outside a few minutes ago and he tried stealing her away, that big ol' slut.

*yelling occurs with some guys at the door*pans in to see Joshsun in a drunken stupor surrounded by multiple guys, all yelling at him.

Josh: All I'm saying is that Schwartz needs to be fired!  Wins, wins, wins!  We don't have enough.  No more aggressive plays from SUH!  PAD LEVEL!

*Nate D. enters*: Bro, Josh, you need to chill man.  Here, hit this "J" up.  Puff puff pass man.  Can anyone buy me a drink in this place?  Blew all my money on cereal and fruit snacks....

*Davis sneaks out of mens bathroom, hoping nobody notices*: Hey Nate, I'll buy you a drink man.  

Nate: Thanks, bro.  You're a good man....but why do you smell like piss?

*IAG sneaks out of womens bathroom, hoping people notice*: Why does nobody have mustaches?  mus.tach.es. mus.tach.es....

*CLF enters, (carrying only pictures): Mustaches?

(hit the jump)

via cdn2.holytaco.com

MUSTACHES!

Josh: Once again, CLF, you bring nothing to the table when I'm arguing.  

CLF: Arguing! 

via www.kevinsaysthings.com

JCruize, Latif, Smitty: lol.  Good input, man.

CLF: Input!  

via 2008.igem.org

CLF: lol, kinda looks like a....ya know...lol

Sean: I guess that's better than the halftime hotties....

Profiler(crying): *sniff* He's not talking about you Bree, he's not talking about you.

*Mavryk and Tuff enter, say something really smart about the Lions, sit down for a drink, while Mav says something about his weight under his breath...

Mikeyclaw pops up: Actually, Mav, according to PFF stats, your weight is only slightly above average.  Consider these numbers.  In this article here, we see the weights of most NFL players.  Come on, man!

Yooper slides into the bar, (twittering on his phone): Speaking of NFL players, LoJack is coming out for drinks with us after the game!

Everyone: Cool!  Thanks man!

det32 enters (with a scowl on his face): cool, poeple, its olny jolack, i wuld get exited if it was ayerz, but its olny jolack, dotn get tath exiscited.

(Collective groan)

In steps Leonuro: Guys, guys.  A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love.  In other words, don't hate, appreciate.

(Ironically, at that moment of clarity, 3 former Detroit boys glide in: Ralphie, numba58, and malek)

Numba58: Lolololololol, Staff the bum stiffy!  Throw a INT!  Dumb Georgia. Stop trolling.

Malek: Guys, look.  The sky is falling.  No question about it.  I'm a very good looking man, so I know this.  My brother's fiances' sisters' gardeners' mothers' friends' brother has inside information about how the sky is falling.  But because I represent players in the NFL, I know that we're signing....wait.... *BREAKING NEWS* We signed Chris Johnson to a 4 year deal!  

Raphie: We sucks!  Fire Schwartz!  No, wait, he plays good game today.  Just kidding!  Hahahah.  NOt an Touchdown!!!

Everyone: 

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Hyper: Hey guys, what'd I miss?

(Game starts, Logan returns one to the house, chaos ensues....pan out.....)

Editors note: Sorry if I missed someone here!  Feel free to enter your own in the comments.  Just remember, this is all in good fun, please, nobody take it too seriously....