FanPost

The "Karma is a Bitch" Mock Draft

Well fellow Pride members, after pouring over stat charts, combine results and numerous expert mock drafts, I have decided to throw all that stuff out the window and submit my mock draft based on something that really matters. This mock is for you Mr. tinfoil hat wearing, conspiracy theory having, damn you George Bush and the New World Order, Lions fans.

This all started a few years ago when we drafted a kid out of Georgia named Matt Stafford, and he helped turn this thing around. Not because he is a strong armed, gun slinging Adonis with the ability to take over a game and throw for over 5000 yards in a season. Nope, that is too simple an answer. The real reason is because Mr. Stafford hails from the same hometown and high school as Bobby Layne - Highland Park High School, and his selection in effect, lifted a 50 year curse. Yes, I know the curse was supposedly lifted a few years earlier, but Bobby ever was good at math (just check his Wonderlic scores)

Given this information I decided to take this idea to the next level. Surely if drafting a player from the same high school as a legend, like Bobby Layne, has taken us from 0-16 to the brink of playoff glory, then an entire draft class of players from the high schools of some of the greatest players in Lions history would get us mulitple Superbowl rings. (At least that's what my Magic 8-ball suggested in a best 2 out of 3 trial run).

So Let's do this:

Round One - Whitney Mercilus DE (Univ. of Illinois)

Never mind he is one of the top DE's in the draft. What is more important to the black helicopter crowd, is the fact that he graduated from Garfield High School in Akron, OH. This was the same starting point for one Sonny Gandee, former Lions LB/DE from 1952-1956. Sonny had a nice career going until injuries got the best of him, including winning two NFL championships in 1952 and 1953.

Round Two - David Wilson RB (Virginia Tech.)

Some might not think he will be there when we draft in the second round, but I'm here to tell you the Detroit chapter of Skull and Bones will make it happen. David went to George Washington High School in Danville, VA. Never heard of it? Well you might be familiar with it most famous alumni, Herman Moore, four time pro-bowler of the Detroit Lions, who played from 1991-2001.

Round Three - Sean Spence LB (Univ. of Miami)

This one was easy, as several members of this draft went to Miami North-West High School, how would you have liked to play that team? Just like our own Brett Perriman, who played for the Lions from 1991-1996. In 1995, Perriman and Moore became the first receiving duo to catch for over 100 receptions in a season.

Round Four - T.Y. Hilton WR (Florida Int. Univ.)

Never mind his sure hands or 4.3 time in the 40. What sets this kid apart is he graduated from Miami Springs High School. The same alma mater as 7 time pro-bowler Lomas Brown, a Lions' fan favorite from 1985-1995.

Round Five - Rishaw Johnson OG (California Univ. of PA.)

Okay, so he got kicked off the team at Ole Miss. for violating team rules. Everyone knows that was the doing of the man trying to keep a brother down. The kid has a ton of upside including the fact he attended St. Augustine High School in New Orleans for two years before Katrina forced him to transfer. Another famous alumni from that same high school is none other than James Hall, DE for the Lions from 2000-2006.

Well there you have it. Five rounds of goodness based on scientific facts and astrology charts. Like any great prognosticator, I have to make a Ms. Cleo disclaimer that this is for entertainment purposes only, but you and I both know the truth....wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Pride Of Detroit or its writers.