Week 6 NFL picks against the spread: Oracle at the O.Co

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Here are your ambiguously straightforward Week 6 NFL picks against the spread.

You guys might be familiar with SB Nation's cool new toy. It's called The GIF Oracle, and it's most excellent. Basically, if the moment calls for a GIF, rather than searching for a GIF yourself and completely wasting away the window for a perfectly-timed GIF, you can request one from The GIF Oracle by simply typing "@oracle gif me [category]" and, almost instantaneously, The GIF Oracle will respond with a good, relevant GIF from its database.

Why am I plugging this here? Because in years past when I'm short on time (running low on gas and you need a jacket), I'll make my picks and lazily post a relevant GIF for the game instead of writing a blurb. GIFs can tell so much more than my words sometimes anyway. And they're funnier. So that's what I'm going to do this week because my head's with the Tigers, Game 5.

Also, "oracle" is such a great word and I've tied it to the Tigers at the O.Co, because O.Co kind of looks like some really bad abbreviation of oracle. Another real loooooose relation is that my friend's dad would call himself "The Oracle" when making his NFL picks. That friend of mine was at Game 4 and snagged a foul ball over the tarp in the sixth inning. Get the connection? No? @oracle gif me my-friend-snagging-foul-ball:

Ibavqyjzvjtepu

Okay, here we go:

Giants (+7.5) over BEARS

@oracle gif me jaycutler

Tumblr_ly7awxhs0f1r5gzv3o1_400_medium

Raiders (+9) over CHIEFS

@oracle gif me upset?

Alligator-tears

Eagles (-1) over BUCS

@oracle gif me glennon

Fatfan_medium

Packers (-3) over RAVENS

@oracle gif me discount-double-check

Rasheedbelt

Lions (-3) over BROWNS

@oracle gif me healthy-megatron

Megatron

VIKINGS (-2.5) over Panthers

@oracle gif me fast-purple

Allday_medium

TEXANS (-7)* over Rams

@oracle gif me pick-six

Headache_medium

JETS (-2.5) over Steelers

@oracle gif me offense

White-noise_medium

BILLS (+7.5) over Bengals

@oracle gif me spiller

Ku-xlarge

SEAHAWKS (-13.5) over Titans

@oracle gif me aggressive-smug-gum-chewer

Carrollstrut

BRONCOS (-27.5) over Jaguars

@oracle gif me college-humping

[redacted]

49ERS (-11)* over Cardinals

@oracle gif me bullcrap

Harbull_medium

PATRIOTS (-2.5) over Saints*

@oracle gif me partyanimal

Rob2_medium_medium

COWBOYS (-5.5)* over Redskins

@oracle gif me romo-moving-forward

Romoref_medium

Colts (-1.5) over CHARGERS

@oracle gif me phil-with-a-mustache

Phil-phil-dunphy-18719206-500-236

Me Season (last week): 34-37-6 (8-6)

KDawg: 31-40-6 (6-8)

HireMattMillen: 30-23-5 (6-7)

Elfuego51: 28-27-5 (10-4)

Northern Lite: 27-28-5 (6-8)

Big.Al: 25-29-5 (4-9)

cram9030: 22-29-5 (4-9)

lions fan displaced in las vegas: 17-22-5 (7-4-3)

Reno09: 17-24-5 (4-8-3)

ncbur10: 3-9-3 (3-9-3)

JT072589: 8-4-3 (8-4-3)

Hendo44: 6-8 (6-8)

*denotes teaser (+14) (season: 17-3)

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