Week 14 NFL picks against the spread: Offensive chips

Rich Schultz

Here are my Week 14 NFL picks against the spread.

In my mind, I often compare this year's Detroit Lions team to the 1995 Lions -- prolific offenses with some big names on defense, although Luther Ellis wasn't quite what Ziggy Ansah is. Even their non-divisional schedules somewhat line up with games against the Steelers, Cardinals, Bucs (they were divisional in '95), Browns and Redskins. I'm really hoping this year's team doesn't compare at all to the '95 Lions in terms of how they do against the Philadelphia Eagles on the road, though.

It can't get worse than the 51-7 deficit the Lions had in the '95 wild card playoff game in Philly. I still remember my exact feeling of disgust and disappointment. I'd say that was the low point of my Lions fandom, not the 0-16 season, because of the PTSD I still have from it. As a Lions fan, I can't help but feel like a 58-37 downer isn't too far out of the realm of possibilities for this week, even after the 40-10 feel-good thumping over the Packers on Thanksgiving.

The offenses will certainly be there for a shootout. The Lions are fourth in the NFL in points scored; the Chip Kelly Eagles are eighth, averaging 31 points per game over their last four games. There's also this (from NFL.com):

Just four NFL teams have two players with 1,000-plus yards from scrimmage this season, and this contest matches up two of those four teams. Reggie Bush (1,302) and Calvin Johnson (1,299) meet LeSean McCoy (1,523) and DeSean Jackson (1,021). The Eagles are the only team with a 1,000-plus yard rusher and a 1,000-plus yard receiver. The other two teams with multiple players over 1,000 scrimmage yards are the Broncos (Knowshon Moreno/Demaryius Thomas) and Bears (Matt Forte/Alshon Jeffery).

I'm extremely excited for this game for another reason, too --  I just got NFL Sunday Ticket, so I get to watch from the comfort of my own home, on my TV and don't have to go to a bar like most other Sundays. But with great expectations comes potential for great sadness. Sadness, kind of like my picks.

Turkey Week picks are always my worst, so it's no surprise in light of my worst season ever at picking games that I went a vomitful [REDACTED]. Only the weekly pickers will know that I went a truly horrid [REDACTED]! [REDACTED]!!!

Follow the Northern Lite after you gloss over these [REDACTED] picks:

Texans (-3) over JAGS

Chiefs (-3.5) over REDSKINS

Vikings (+7) over RAVENS

PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Browns

JETS (-3) over Raiders

BENGALS (-6) over Colts

SAINTS (-3.5) over Panthers

EAGLES (-2.5) over Lions

Dolphins (+3) over STEELERS

Bills (+2.5) over BUCS

Titans (+12) over BRONCOS

Rams (+6.5) over CARDINALS

CHARGERS (-3) over Giants

49ERS (-3) over Seahawks (can I guess a push??)

PACKERS (-4.5) over Falcons

Cowboys (-1.5) over BEARS

SEASON (LAST WEEK)

Northern Lite: 88-75-8 (9-5) 
Elfuego51: 80-85-8 (9-7)
KDawg: 79-98-9 (9-7)
Me: 78-103-9 (REDACTED)
lions fan displaced in las vegas: 71-60-6 (12-4)
cram9030: 70-70-8 (8-4-1)
Big.Al: 59-49-5 (55%)
HireMattMillen: 50-43-5 (54%)
Bighaircut: 46-42 (7-6)
jwitzsc: 31-35-3 (11-5) (3-2 on locks)
JT072589: 25-17-3 (8-8)
Reno09: 22-33-5
Hendo44: 19-25 (9-7)
Jeremy Reisman's locks of the week: 7-10-1 (1-1-1)
MAISON G BLUE:  9-7 (9-7)
gibbsericj: 7-7 
ncbur10: 3-9-3

* denotes teaser (+14) (season: 45-7)

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