April 24, 2013 - 2100 hours - Best Western Plus Presidential Hotel at Times Square
Martin Mayhew paces the small hotel room. He's wearing his business suit and a conical tinfoil hat.
Mayhew - We're going to make a big splash tomorrow Jim, good things are going to happen. We've fooled everyone. No one has any clue what we're about to do.
Schwartz - Yeah, that's great Martin, is there a reason we couldn't get a room with two beds?
Mayhew - Loose lips sink ships Jim, this way we can keep an eye on each other all night long.
Schwartz - Yeeeaaahhhh, alright Martin, see you in the morning.
April 25, 2013 - Roger Goodell stands at the podium "With the first pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select......Manti Te'o, Linebacker, Notre Dame"
Te'o gets up with a beaming look on his face, but is blocked from entering the stage. Goodell chuckles a bit, then says, "Just kidding, go find a seat son.".
Once the laughter subsides, the picks come rolling in. As expected, the Chiefs select Geno Smith. Jacksonville makes a surprise move and selects Kenny Vaccaro. Oakland, in the new Green Bay mold, selects Sharif Floyd. Philadelphia selects Star Lotulelei for their new 3-4 scheme.
Now, the moment you've all been waiting for. With Schwartz muttering to himself, "got to build our strengths." The Lions pick comes to the podium. "With the 5th overall pick in the 2013 draft, the Detroit Lions select Sheldon Richardson, Defensive Tackle, Missouri.
As a stunned silence falls, and thousands of Lion fans viewing across the country start a wave of property self destruction, Richardson proudly swaggers up to the podium. "It's a good thing you all drafted me, I'm the real deal. Now you have yourselves a real starting Defensive Tackle, as long as my shoulder holds up. Been training with Titus Young for this day.".
Mayhew - We just feel lucky to have gotten him here. We were working the phones looking to trade up, but things happened to work out. We got the #1 player on our board.
April 26th - As stunned people across the country tune into the next night of carnage, the Lions make their next selection, taking RB Marcus Lattimore of South Carolina, despite the fact that he suffered a broken femur, dislocated knee cap, and torn ACL, MCL, PCL, LCL, X,Y, AND ZCL too.
3rd round - Lions take CB Tyrann Matthieu, formerly of LSU who refuses to claim him.
3rd round - Lions trade their 5th, 6th, and 7th round picks in 2013, and their 2nd round pick in 2014 to the Patriots to select Tyler Bray, QB, Tennessee.
4th round compensatory - Lions select Denard Robinson, Athlete, Michigan.
7th round compensatory - Lions select Ray-Ray Armstrong, S, formerly of the University of Miami
Thank you and goodnight Gracie!