FanPost

INTERVIEWS: Proof that the pre-season is meaningless and the Lions will fail

I've been hearing a lot of happy slappies pulling sunshine and rainbows out of the arse with unrealistic predictions for this coming season. Talk of playoffs and winning seasons, haha! There are even some people excited about tonight's pre-season game!! PRE-SEASON!! C'mon!!

I wanted to get some more realistic and down to earth thoughts about the pre-season and predictions for the coming season so I went down to the local coffee house and here's what I found out:

I found these 3 girls willing to interrupt their heated discussion on solutions for peace in the Middle East to discuss the fine points of pre-season football.

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Food for thought!! I didn't want the discussion to end there so I moved on to another voice of reason:

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OK OK I see a theme here. So the crowd here isn't so excited over the pre-season, I get that. It has to be somewhat important time for the coaches to build up their scheme, right? So how is the coaching staff doing to prepare the team for the actual season then?

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Well it hardly seems fair to pile all the teams problems on the shoulders of Schwartz, right? Let's see if there are any other opinions on what's gone wrong:

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WOAH! Those are some bold words!! Surely someone has to be optimistic about the GM position, right? So what is the long term outlook at GM for the Lions?

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That's a pretty sunny outlook, all things considered!! I see the Mensa crowd that has gathered here is combining the brain power to get to the core of the problems for this team. Let's look to this forward thinker to see if there are any other long term solutions for the team:

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I knew this group could get to the core of the long term situation with the team! Now obviously there's a lot going on with the team adding in a lot of new players with long term promise, a DL that is coming together, a secondary that will develop to a long term shut down group, and of course all kinds of weapons on the O to be excited over, right? How has all these changes to the team put hope into you for the upcoming season?

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NO NO NO Please don't take it that hard! Here, have a shot of Kool Aid and espresso! Isn't there something to be excited about? Look at this high powered offense for example. The team has a young QB, the best WR in the league if not ever, and what looks like a long awaited 1k+1k duel threat RB. What is your take on the juggernaut that could be the Lions O:

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wow, really? So is there any hope to the teams long term ability to build up a team that can gel and become a force in this league?

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OH MY! The situation is even worse than I thought!! Isn't there anything good for the fans to hold on to this season?

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AHHHH there's always that :)

So there it is! This is the proof that the Lions are wasting their time playing in the pre-season games and they mean nothing. Furthermore the brain trust has proven the team is totally and completely doomed because Schwartz is stupid, Mayhew is incompetent, the Fords can't create a winning environment, Stafford is too flawed to succeed, and the team has no long term hope because of cap hell.

I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news like this.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Pride Of Detroit or its writers.