FanPost

Welcome to my Nightmare

February 7th, Allen Park, MI.

Press conference is called to announce the hiring of the new Head Coach of the Detroit Lions. At 12:14 pm, the Lions name Jack Del Rio as head coach. GM Martin Mayhew, with a glazed look in his eye, says, "He met all the qualities we were looking for.".

There follows an uncomfortable moment where Shaq Harris is caught offstage, wearing a dark hooded cloak, whispering, "Well done, my young apprentice.".

Del Rio sets to work quickly, naming Cory Undlin as Defensive Coordinator, and Mike Sheppard as Offensive Coordinator. He establishes a team motto of "Grinding Stone", which uniquely backfires when a large rock lands on Punter Sam Martins non-kicking foot during a stunt exhibition. Nick Harris is signed as Punter the next day.

Over the course of the next month in free agency, the team signs free agents Brad Meester, and the recently released Blain Gabbert. The Lions also make it a priority to resign Resheen Mathis and CJ Mosely.

May 8th - The Lions shock fans, and delight every team picking after them, selecting K Cairo Santos with the 10th overall selection in the NFL Draft. Shaq Harris is once again seen backstage, chortling with glee, whispering to GM Martin Mayhew, "Your training is now complete!".

June 1st - The Lions unveil their new uniform and logo, featuring turquois, black, and gold, the Detroit "Ocelots" feature the side profile of the small spotted feline's head on their helmets.

Hellllllllppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Pride Of Detroit or its writers.

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