I think it's time to have a little fun at the expense of ourselves here at Pride of Detroit. I've been thinking about this idea for some time now and finally got a little free time to put it together. Every month, I get a kick out of so many of the comments that are made here. Some are clever, some funny and some are just downright bizarre. So at the expense of every poster, I took it upon myself to compile a list of the Top 25 comments in the FanPost section of POD in June. To make it a little more interesting, I did not list the FanPost it came from, so everything is out of context. I'll list the poster and then the comment and of course, I'll add my own comments and smart-ass remarks... because I can.
This is all in jest and I mean no disrespect to anyone. Hopefully, you all will get a good laugh or a least couple of chuckles out of it. So without further adieu, the Top 25 FanPost Comments for June......
Warning: Language ahead!
25. Evilsmurf - "If you cannot come up with one paragraph, 75 words to support your topic, then you lack the passion and conviction and emotional tie to make it worth reading."
- We'd also have about 50 fewer FanPosts each month... lol.
24. lionfan4life - "Favorite College player is whoever played on a team that beat Ohio State (Football)"
- Not much I can add to this one. Oh, and for those of you who ARE Ohio State fans and offended... suck it. Hehehe...
23. The Profiler - "Need a grand theft auto hack to make all pedestrians look like matt millen that would help ease the pain"
- I don't know about nationally, but here in Michigan, this game would sell like hotcakes. In addition, we could put Lewand behind the wheel... ba-dum, ching....
22. myPride - "It's beer, not KoolAid, that I swim in and I grow my own life preservers"
- I'm not really sure what that means, but it just sounds really gross.
21. 2manyears - "It's such a slow news worthy month, this story keeps hanging on like frozen snot in winter. Somebody think up something new. I would but, I'm out of drugs."
- Ahh... post-acid writer's block... I've heard of this. It's also known as "Music in the 80's".
20. JazzyBBP - "Am I going to wake up in the bathtub full of ice and missing my kidneys?"
- You might, Jazzy... but the question is "Would you actually notice?"
19. det32 - "Is it still called rape if you like to get raped??"
- First, I'd like to point out here that EVERYTHING in this sentence is spelled correctly. Nice job, det32. Second... WTF?
18. j16941 - "Teams that sign players this early... ARE WHORES!!!"
- Yes, indeed they are. I heard Rich Eisen reporting on this just the other night on the NFL Network. It went something like this... "And in other news, Chicago Bear's Management was being investigated as part of a massive prostitution ring. After doling out millions for free agents and early draft signings, the fans still feel f***ed. Now on to Farve Watch 2010...."
17. ATL Lion - "You just described my last date. After she blew her ACL I decided to forgo the customary contract and leave. Damaged goods."
- A.C.L: Alternate Cock Liaison. Yes, I would have moved on as well. Cheaters never win.
16. davis0169 - "Never Fear Underdog's Hear! Now if he would just quit humping Polly Purebreeds' leg we would be better off for that. Anyone seen shoe shine boy???"
- Umm... yeah. But I have to say, for an animated dog, Polly Purebred was pretty hot.
15. JCruize - "Sorry i do not speak Iowaesse...not sure what you are calling me.....is a wafflecock anything like a waffle cone? Because I like waffle cones. Come to think of it. I also enjoy Belgium waffles."
- You know... I too enjoy a fine Belgian Waffle. A little whipped cream... some strawberries and a fine maple syrup. Mmmmm. But I'm not sure I would put whipped cream, strawberries or syrup on anything called a "wafflecock".
14. ATL Lion - "Oh Ralph. The guy who knows a guy who parks the car of a guy who might be affiliated with the Cowboys told you we chickened out of a trade for a guy?"
- Absolutely classic!
13. LionsRantArtist - "but I always liked Shaun Rogers regardless of total fatness"
- Me too. But I have to say that I was always fascinated by his girth.
12. Skylar - "I would rather have Jamarcus Russell on my team than this face-stomping, cash-grabbing, underachieving snot-rocket."
- I would rather have herpes than Jamarcus Russell, so go figure....
11. x$pcents IV - "I hope Rodgers chokes on his own puke when convulsing after Suh puts his helmet right through his facemask"
- I actually think Gunther just installed this play at the last minicamp. It was called "House of Spear Stunt - Rodgers Blows Chunkies" Ready... break!
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Are we having fun yet? Alrighty then... on to the Top 10!
10. LionsRantArtist - "Never thought I'd see the day when I agreed with DrewsLions. That day has come though"
- It's okay, LRA... this day comes for everyone eventually. Don't feel alone....
9. ABN_MI_fan - "But if someone offered anyone here 100 million to scrub the urinals in a Bosnian men's prison would you do it? Heck yeah! Women's room too!"
- What a pretty picture! But yeah... for a hundred million dollars, I'd do a LOT worse. Just think, though... there's some little Bosnian dude in a dark, dank Bosnian prison right now doing this for about 35 cents a day. I hope he gets decent health care....
8. Wayne Fontes - "My dream girl is a midget about waist high with a flat head I can set my beer on"
- My dream girl has Carrie Underwood's face, Megan Fox's stomach, Jessica Simpson's boobs, Beyonce's legs and Jennifer Lopez's butt.... but to each his own, I guess...
7. Nate D. - "The only thing disturbing here is the grammar"
- I think you could cut and paste this comment into every FanPost on POD. And there's even a spellcheck now!?!?
6. Enforcer - "To get off the subject of rape and orgys..."
- Well, I've heard some interesting segways in my day, but this one takes the cake.
5. lionsfan64 - "Can you type with your toes? Might limit the number of post you have left."
- Awwww... now that's just plain mean, right there. Funny as hell... but mean. Can't we all just get along... lol.
4. JazzyBBP - "Thanks you youngsters and your newfangled technodoohickythingamabobwhatchmacallits. I'm seriously clueless when it comes to that shit. I can find porn and thats it."
- Here's some more help for you, Jazzy... That thing you use to find porn with? That's called a "computer". No, it's really not called a "Porno Go-Getter". That thing you type the porn names with? That's called a "keyboard". No, it's really not called "The thingy I need to wipe off after I find the Porn". That little thing that you move around to click on the boobies you like? That's called a "mouse". No, it's really not called the "Thing you push around to make the little arrow touch all the boobies". Hope this helps!
3. Wayne Fontes - "One thing about Ralph he does debate his posts, no matter how far up his ass he has to dig for a response."
- Ralphie, Ralphie boy. When are you going to find whatever it is you're looking for.... (10 pts to anyone who can give the movie reference). Honestly, what would our site be without Ralphie? I know one thing, I'd have to change this to the Top 15... We love ya Ralph!
2. x$pcents IV - "I'm going to cut my dick off."
- Let me know how this works out for you. Even in context, this one is out there. Things that make ya go hmmmmm.......
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Okay, so now for the top comment on POD for the month of June....
Drum roll please....
1. Slum Village Allstar - "So let me get this stright- you make an account, you sign-up to Pride of Detroit. Then you have your one day waiting period (and I bet you were anxious, I know I was)... and you log on, click on ‘New Fanpost' and you start typing AND THIS IS WHAT YOU COME UP WITH?!?!??"
- Perfect Burn...
Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed this and no one got too offended. It was a hoot to write and maybe if it's something everyone enjoys, I could do it once a month to keep everything on the site lighthearted.