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Week 6 NFL picks against the spread: Oracle at the O.Co

Here are your ambiguously straightforward Week 6 NFL picks against the spread.

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

You guys might be familiar with SB Nation's cool new toy. It's called The GIF Oracle, and it's most excellent. Basically, if the moment calls for a GIF, rather than searching for a GIF yourself and completely wasting away the window for a perfectly-timed GIF, you can request one from The GIF Oracle by simply typing "@oracle gif me [category]" and, almost instantaneously, The GIF Oracle will respond with a good, relevant GIF from its database.

Why am I plugging this here? Because in years past when I'm short on time (running low on gas and you need a jacket), I'll make my picks and lazily post a relevant GIF for the game instead of writing a blurb. GIFs can tell so much more than my words sometimes anyway. And they're funnier. So that's what I'm going to do this week because my head's with the Tigers, Game 5.

Also, "oracle" is such a great word and I've tied it to the Tigers at the O.Co, because O.Co kind of looks like some really bad abbreviation of oracle. Another real loooooose relation is that my friend's dad would call himself "The Oracle" when making his NFL picks. That friend of mine was at Game 4 and snagged a foul ball over the tarp in the sixth inning. Get the connection? No? @oracle gif me my-friend-snagging-foul-ball:


Okay, here we go:

Giants (+7.5) over BEARS

@oracle gif me jaycutler


Raiders (+9) over CHIEFS

@oracle gif me upset?


Eagles (-1) over BUCS

@oracle gif me glennon


Packers (-3) over RAVENS

@oracle gif me discount-double-check


Lions (-3) over BROWNS

@oracle gif me healthy-megatron


VIKINGS (-2.5) over Panthers

@oracle gif me fast-purple


TEXANS (-7)* over Rams

@oracle gif me pick-six


JETS (-2.5) over Steelers

@oracle gif me offense


BILLS (+7.5) over Bengals

@oracle gif me spiller


SEAHAWKS (-13.5) over Titans

@oracle gif me aggressive-smug-gum-chewer


BRONCOS (-27.5) over Jaguars

@oracle gif me college-humping


49ERS (-11)* over Cardinals

@oracle gif me bullcrap


PATRIOTS (-2.5) over Saints*

@oracle gif me partyanimal


COWBOYS (-5.5)* over Redskins

@oracle gif me romo-moving-forward


Colts (-1.5) over CHARGERS

@oracle gif me phil-with-a-mustache


Me Season (last week): 34-37-6 (8-6)

KDawg: 31-40-6 (6-8)

HireMattMillen: 30-23-5 (6-7)

Elfuego51: 28-27-5 (10-4)

Northern Lite: 27-28-5 (6-8)

Big.Al: 25-29-5 (4-9)

cram9030: 22-29-5 (4-9)

lions fan displaced in las vegas: 17-22-5 (7-4-3)

Reno09: 17-24-5 (4-8-3)

ncbur10: 3-9-3 (3-9-3)

JT072589: 8-4-3 (8-4-3)

Hendo44: 6-8 (6-8)

*denotes teaser (+14) (season: 17-3)

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