NFL Picks

Week 11 NFL picks against the spread: Lifeless picks

Be careful with these Week 11 NFL picks against the spread.

By Brian Packey@Detroit4lyfe Nov 14, 2013, 8:09pm EST

Ben Roethlisberger used an interesting word choice when talking about the dangers of the Detroit Lions' defensive line on Wednesday (via NFL.com):

"You've got to be careful," Roethlisberger said Wednesday on a call with reporters, per Fox Sports Detroit. "You'll end up dead if you're not careful."

Thanks, Roethlisbooger. The media already loves to connect the Lions with the word "dirty"; let's give them another negative "d" word to play with. Former Lion Chuck Hughes is the only NFL player to actually die on the football field, and he had a heart attack. Nobody's going to die on the field on Sunday. If you're not careful in football, you could become seriously injured. You could wind up dead if you're not careful on your motorcycle, but it's not going to happen on the football field. There's no real such thing as "death by sack." Nothing to see here.

But, just in case it wasn't obvious enough that Roethlisberger was using that word for dramatic effect, Suh pleaded his case:

"I'm not a killer," he said. "My track record proves that one or I'd be in jail. I guess I've got to take that (Big Ben's words) as somewhat of a compliment, or we have to. But, no, there's not going to be no killing on Sunday."

Good. See? He's not a killer, media.

These picks sure are killer, though:

Colts (-3)* over TITANS*

The Both-Teams-Were-Embarrassed-Last-Week Week 11 Bowl.

BUCCANEERS (+1.5) over Falcons

The Bucs gave the 2008 Lions something to not celebrate about on Monday and now they're winning multiple games in a row? I can't believe it either.

BILLS (-1) over Jets

Per ESPN:

The surprising New York Jets have tied an NFL record by alternating wins and losses through their first nine games.

Let's have 'em break it.

Lions (-2) over STEELERS

Neil O'Donnell's not walking through that door.

EAGLES (-3.5) over Redskins

Nick Foles has poise, so says Riley Cooper.

Chargers (-1.5) over DOLPHINS

Let's keep those bully headlines rolling.

Ravens (+3) over BEARS

Bears lose again, Brandon Marshall wrongfully calls John Harbaugh a little brother.

BENGALS (-6) over Browns

Ohio sucks, but did you know this rivalry has produced two of the eight highest-scoring games in NFL history? Bengals win 14-3.

TEXANS (-7) over Raiders

I don't have any stats on how NFL teams perform the week their coach returns from a mini-stroke, but I'd like to think Houston rallies.

JAGUARS (+7) over Cardinals

More Shoelace. 'Nuff said.

SEAHAWKS (-13) over Vikings

The last time the Vikings were 13-point underdogs, they lost by 38.

SAINTS (-3.5) over 49ers*

When the 49ers lose, they really lay an egg. They have scored 30-plus points in all of their wins this season (208 points in six games or 34.7 points per win) and a combined 19 points in their three losses (or 6.33 points per loss). I say they at least put up that 19 in a loss this week.

GIANTS (-6) over Packers

This has happened before.

BRONCOS (-8) over Chiefs*

Has a 9-0 team ever been an 8-point underdog??? Also, Dwayne Bowe was arrested for possession of marijuana and proceeded to throw his brother under the bus.

Patriots (+2.5) over PANTHERS

Left that little guy off originally. Don't worry about that little guy. Tom Brady.

SEASON (LAST WEEK) (%)

Me: 63-77-6 (5-9) (45%)
Northern Lite: 62-62-5 (6-8) (50%)
KDawg: 62-78-6 (6-8) (44%)
Elfuego51: 61-63-5 (5-9) (49%)
Big.Al: 59-49-5 (8-6) (55%)
HireMattMillen: 50-43-5 (5-7) (54%)
cram9030: 55-61-5 (7-6) (47%)
lions fan displaced in las vegas: 51-52-5 (8-5) (50%)
Bighaircut: 27-24 (5-8) (53%)
Reno09: 22-33-5 (40%)
JT072589: 17-9-3 (65%)
Hendo44: 10-18 (36%)
jwitzsc: 9-16 (5-8) (36%)
gibbsericj: 7-7 (50%)
ncbur10: 3-9-3 (25%)
Jeremy Reisman's locks of the week: 5-7 (1-2) (42%)

* denotes teaser (+14) (35-5)