I was 6-9-1 again last week. Hey, did you hear Dumb and Dumber To is being filmed?
Just when you think my picks against the spread couldn't possibly be any dumber, I go and make the following picks... and totally redeem myself!
49ers (-3) over RAMS
Jim Harbaugh once refused to pay a courier he said he would pay $100, because the courier brought him tight game film and not the wide-angle film wherein you can see the entire action. "Jim Harbaugh doesn't do tight game film," he said in the third person. Jim Harbaugh is an a-hole, as you know. 49ers win, unfortunately.
BILLS (+3) over Ravens
Cardinals (+3) over BUCCANEERS
Josh Freeman loses captaincy. Josh Freeman oversleeps meeting(s). Josh Freeman benched for some dude named Mike Glennon. Josh Freeman wants trade. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers continue to lose. Or Glennon becomes the talk of the town next week.
CHIEFS (-4.5) over Giants
Eli Manning leads the NFL with 8 interceptions. His better brother and the quarterback he's playing in this game have ZERO combined.
Colts (-9.5) over JAGUARS
TEXANS (+3) over Seahawks
Andre Johnson is day-to-day, but DeAndre Hopkins proves he's the real deal by having a solid game against a very strong Seahawks unit.
BROWNS (+5) over Bengals
Bears (+2.5) over LIONS
Shhhh, it's working. Need help determining which Lions to play in fantasy football?
TITANS (-3.5) over Jets
Redskins (pick) over RAIDERS
Eagles (+11) over BRONCOS
Why? Why don't you eat your burger and I'll tell ya...
Cowboys (-1) over CHARGERS
Last second field goal by Phil Rivers is no good. Cowboys win by the number of Tony Romo interceptions, chins and dimples.
FALCONS (-1) over Patriots
Game of the Week is in my back yard. Maybe I'll go hang by the bar and put out the vibe:
SAINTS (-6.5) over Dolphins
People were honestly wondering if the Dolphins have what it takes to surpass the Patriots. Saints are all like, "What was all that one in a million talk?"
OK gang, you know the rules: make your picks in the comments and I'll keep tabs. No humping, no licking, no sniffing hineys.
Season (last week): 19-26-3 (6-9-1)
KDawg: 17-28-3 (5-10-1)
Northern Lite: 15-14-2 (9-5-1)
HireMattMillen: 14-14-2 (6-8-1)
Elfuego51: 14-15-2 (7-8-1)
Big.Al: 14-15-2 (7-8-1)
Reno09: 13-16-2 (6-9-1)
cram9030: 11-15-2 (5-9-1)
lions fan displaced in las vegas: 10-18-2 (5-9-1)
* denotes teaser parlay (+14 points) (11-1 on season)
More from Pride Of Detroit:
- Thursday night open thread: 49ers at Rams
- Lions quotes: Thursday's comments from Jim Schwartz, Scott Linehan
- Lions injury report: Nearly everybody practices on Thursday
- Nate Burleson injury: Lions WR hoping to return by November at the latest
- Sit/start fantasy football advice: Which Lions to play in Week 4