Editor's Note: FanDuel is running a $2,000,000 fantasy football league in week 4. The top 90,800 teams win cash with $150,000 paid to first place on Sunday. Join now!
So, last week I think I did all of you a great service by steering you clear of players who either played like hot garbage -- Who? Matt Jones, that's who -- or the players who didn't even make it to the field. Hey, it counts for something that I know 'Q' stands for questionable, and I pass that sort of wisdom along to you. Without further ado, here are your Week 4 picks that don't belong anywhere near your daily FanDuel entry!
Joe Flacco at $8,000
Hey, don't start Joe Flacco. I'm serious, we don't even know if dude's elite. Look at what Flacco has accomplished in seven career regular season starts at Heinz Field: 139 for 220 (63.2 CMP%), 1,606 yards (229.4 Y/G), seven touchdowns to three interceptions. That sure does sound like the way to start off your Thursday with a bang. Starting Joe Flacco in a FanDuel league is akin to feeling pretty hungry, deciding to jump in your car and just driving until you stop at the first sight of an establishment that serves food; yeah, you were hungry, but you ended up picking up a Crave Case. Enjoy your Thursday night atop that porcelain throne.
Matt Stafford at $7,000
"This is a statement game for the Lions. They're going to go into Seattle on Monday night and right the track against a Super Bowl contender, on national television nonetheless. They've had the past week to fix the offense, ya'know? And who knows, Levy might play considering he's back and practicing; his presence will fix the defense and that will give the offense more time to stay on the field. And Marshawn Lynch might not play, so that will help the Lions' offense because it will, ya'know?"
LeSean McCoy at $7,300
He's been splitting the workload with the rookie Karlos Williams, I didn't like Matt Jones -- or either of the Washington running backs for that matter -- against the Giants' tough run defense last week, so I'm not big on LeSean this week either. Also, he has that 'D' by his name which I'm told stands for "facing a good run defense." Guess I'm not the only one who can read Pro-Football-Reference.
Chris Johnson at $6,700
The CJ2K redemption story in Arizona has been a story I've not only been interested in, but also one I've felt has flown under the radar considering the exhausting coverage of the NFL. It's only a matter of time before Sports Illustrated runs a feature on the playoff bound Arizona Cardinals, revisiting the "mad scientist" moniker Bruce Arians has garnered, reminding everyone of the story of Carson Palmer and his Heisman pedigree, and then how Chris Johnson went from a text message away from death to the leading rusher for the club. But I don't like him for a play in fantasy this week against St. Louis with Andre Ellington taped back together for the time being and rookie David Johnson continuing to get more opportunities in the offense.
Keenan Allen at $7,700
Of all the standouts from Week 3, expect Mr. Keenan Allen to be the one to have the most pedestrian performance in Week 4. The Chargers are taking on the Browns this week, and Allen will be matched up against a premier corner in Cleveland's Joe Haden. I don't have much else to base this off of other than that I get physically upset at the sight or sound of this guy's name after what transpired in Week 1.
Jarvis Landry at $7,200
Would you rather be trapped on Revis Island or stranded on an island with Ryan Tannehill? You put Tannehill in charge of gathering food, so you fashion a fishing pole for him and find a pond on the interior of the island full of fish. You think, "There's no way we don't eat good tonight." You return 60 minutes later to see nothing in the way of a meal caught in his bucket and him casting the line to the land on the other side of this pond. Almost as infuriating as seeing him throw three straight passes out of the back of the end zone last week against Buffalo. Sorry, Jarvis.
Terrance Williams at $5,900
Williams was targeted twice last week against Atlanta and didn't catch either of those attempts. I'm not entirely sure if Brandon Weeden has the arm strength to target his receivers on the outside...
Okay, yes I am.
Jimmy Graham at $6,600
I wouldn't start any tight end that might have to face DeAndre Levy -- or Josh Bynes for that matter.
Matt Prater at $4,500
Who knows what this guy's diet consists of? Apparently he had "food poisoning" the Saturday night before last week's game against the Broncos, but I need to see receipts from the place he ordered take-out lamb and bone marrow from or else I'm still convinced he was over-served and recovering from the brown bottle blues. He's one of like seven kickers you can get for $4,500 -- the cheapest price for the position -- so pick any of the other ones that doesn't have to be restrained from talking to the media and getting himself in trouble.
Houston Texans at $4,900
I really find this puzzling considering they're playing in Atlanta, and the Falcons have hung 89 points through three games this year, good for 5th in scoring in the NFL.