Lions vs. Packers: What just happened?

Well, I’m sure everyone is feeling what I’m feeling right now: The bitter taste of defeat mixed with the feeling I had the one time I peed my pants on the first day of eighth grade after I got off the bus and my friend had to get the mail for his parents instead of just opening the door and letting me use the restroom. No? Okay, maybe it was just the bitter taste of defeat. Let’s just get to the thoughts.

Have you ever been kicked in the face?

Well, you were on Sunday night. Just hours after clinching the playoffs for the third time in six years, Aaron Rodgers smugly reminded us that he’s good. If he hadn’t, Cris Collinsworth was certainly up for the task. More on that later. Sunday night was another reminder that this Lions team just isn’t quite ready for prime time.

Zenner is good...

...until the Lions completely abandon what works. The second-year fan favorite was all over the place, racking up 110 all-purpose yards and a nice touchdown. Still, the Lions apparently couldn’t wait to not use him as much in the second half.

Who’s this Marvin guy?

We don’t see Marvin Jones for weeks and then he out of nowhere has a pretty decent game in the final week of the season? Ok.

Second half

What do the Lions talk about at halftime? “Alright men, let’s go out there and completely wing it. What’s life for anyways if you can’t just throw your inhibitions to the wind? I mean, after all, it’s only a football game. There’s an old adage that says ‘If something works well, stop doing it.’ Game ball goes to vending machine guy. Way to restock those Twinkies. What were we doing here again?”

I’m pretty sure it’s something like that. It has to be. Because this team has never been capable of making second half adjustments against good teams. Forget the narratives the media or your crazy uncle will throw out about Stafford not caring or something. This is why your team loses. They can’t adjust. This is what could ultimately cost Jim Caldwell his gig.

Hey guys, this season isn’t over yet

Yeah, I’ll be that guy. Regardless of how you feel right now, in the history books, this season was a success. And it really shouldn’t have been. So take a step back and breathe for a moment. Let’s put down the poster board and the black magic marker. Forget writing “Fire Caldwell” on there. Let’s just see what happens on Saturday.

Smells like Seattle

Yeah, this game looks scary, but you should be happy about it. Of the two teams the Lions would have had to face in the wild card, it’s Seattle that they have a better chance to beat. Even if it is in the dreaded CenturyLink Field. That’s not saying much. The Seahawks do have a top five defense, and it is in their building, but this is the same team that lost to the Rams, were dominated by the Packers, couldn’t beat Arizona and almost lost to San Francisco on Sunday. If anything, it will be an interesting game.

A song for Aaron from NBC

Look, the Lions lost. That’s cool. Whatever. But for the love of everything that is holy, NBC really needs to do something different with their commentary. They spent four quarters singing the praises of Aaron Rodgers in every way possible. They compared him to Joe Namath, Jared Cook to Calvin Johnson and Ty Montgomery to Le’Veon Bell. That’s a bit much.

Yes the Packers are good and they did finish off quite a feat by running the table. I commend them and send them my congratulations. But I see no reason why anyone should have sit through this. It was like the time Brent Musburger spotted Katherine Webb in the crowd. I thought Cris Collinsworth was going to start grunting and moaning at any moment. Take a cold shower, NBC.

Final thoughts

What is pass interference?

Here’s the only Fresh Prince video worth this disaster.