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Detroit Lions Week 8 Song of the Game: “I Can’t Win” by the Strokes

This metaphor isn’t really that hard to unravel guys.

NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers at Detroit Lions Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports

Seeking to ascribe meaning to music is one of man’s worst endeavors. The whole mad world of seeking deeper meaning in what is rightfully a hellish and short existence is rotten, but there’s something sick and depraved when our ancestors didn’t bother to draw the line at keeping troubadours squarely in the business of bull. If you can bust a minstrel with his own damn lute, if he’s got pinions of nerds telling him what a delightful plumage he’s got, we’re properly on the way to ruin. Maybe one day I’ll become a Salafist after all.

No Chris, no. That’s a sour belief to hold. After all, you’ve nattered on end about meaning in music to nobody but your own damn cat and a few heads who you got listening to you that one time. You listen to music nonstop. Either spot, this isn’t the time when you’re here to present a song for a football game; to tell the fine folks at home about how this song, this very song, perfectly matches up with Detroit Lions roughhousing, “Dark Side of the Moon” and “The Wizard of Oz” and things of that nature.

It’s still true though.

Let’s not make this one too hard on ourselves.

Lions-Steelers Song of the Game: “I Can’t Win” by The Strokes

I’m not even sure if The Strokes were ever a real band. The muddying of time means that their music gets retroactively slapped into the same spheres of trash that copied it. That sort of paradox is enough to erase one from the timeline itself. But I think there needs to be something for originality, or whatever passes for it in music when you’re able to properly delineate the creation of yet another sub-genre. It doesn’t help that The Strokes are allegedly from New York; as that city isn’t real, it is highly probable this band isn’t either.

The fun part about using “I Can’t Win” is its utility for this particular game. Sure, this is a proper line for use by the Lions and their fans on a macro level for this game, in reference that this game wasn’t won and the endless struggles to land touchdowns. But you could also use it from the perspective of Eric Ebron; in fact, I’d prefer to, although I’m sure most fans wouldn’t. Ebron spent an entire night getting a rough treatment for rougher play, and when he finally got his hands on the ball it was to sarcastic cheers and set up for a miserable red zone appearance and not the salvation of the game.

Poor soul. If only he had gained a few more yards, or perhaps 15 less, he may have then truly been the hero of the day.

Note: Week 3’s choice of “Sober” by Tool has been replaced by “Popcorn” by Hot Butter because Tool is not currently available on the Spotify platform and “Popcorn” is hilarious.