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NFL Week 14 picks against the spread, totals: Nacho cheese

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Picking games and spending your money. It’s the best life in the world of football.

NFL: Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

You’re always gonna have a funky week like last week; the best teams appearing weak, flaccid even, against lesser competition, and it causes everyone to raise unholy hell and freak out. For the weaklings of the universe, it means it’s time to doubt the Rams, the Chiefs and the Saints because of one lousy game.

You ain’t always on the top of your game every day. For some, it’s not even the majority of days.

But if you truly shine you shine bright.

I don’t know what else there is to say that would seem philosophical or inspirational here. This is just a column about gambling.

Kansas City -9 vs. Baltimore

Baby you know the drill.

Seattle -3 vs. Minnesota

The NFC North imploding was about the only thing I could count on last week. Minnesota might not be that bad of a team, but it’s a fool to wager against the Seahawks in their own spot.

Miami +10 vs. New England

It’s late season Patriots, so everyone is afraid of the good ol’ Death Star. To give two scores to the Dolphins at home (9-7 vs. the Patriots in Miami) seems excessive.

Green Bay -5 vs. Atlanta

Oh man the Falcons don’t stand a chance now do they? By now most people know what kind of coach Joe Philbin is. His tenure in Miami was unendearing to a high degree; using Ryan Tannehill to the best of his abilities only clicked in his mind right when he was about to get fired. He also apparently hasn’t called plays in decades, or something. Nevertheless, this is the “McCarthy is Gone Party” game.

Washington vs. NYG UNDER 41

This one is just sad. Let’s move on.

Buffalo -3.5 vs. NYJ

How much longer do you think they’ll be able to keep playing football in Buffalo? I mean, physically. As the world turns to extreme climates, we’re going to start seeing people dread the idea of going out in winter for a football game. When it comes to the Bills Mafia, the combination of dead drunk and the penchant for drunk fans to remove clothing might leave a few people dead dead. It’ll be worse in Green Bay. Even worse if Buffalo ever makes the playoffs. Thankfully, I think our sun will give out before that happens.

All the rest

LAC vs. Cincinnati UNDER 47.5
LAR -3 @ Chicago
Tampa Bay vs. New Orleans UNDER 55.5
Dallas -3.5 vs. Philadelphia
Oakland vs. Pittsburgh UNDER 51.5
Jacksonville +5.5 @ Tennessee
Cleveland +1.5 vs. Carolina
Houston vs. Indianapolis UNDER 49.5
San Francisco +4 vs. Denver
Arizona vs. Detroit OVER 40.5