2018 Detroit Lions Name Bracket tournament: The Final 4

We’ve come a long, long ways together. Through the bad times and the good. It’s time for... Name Bracket, baby. It’s time to vote Killebrew like you shoouuuuuuuuuld.

Another round of the Detroit Lions Name Bracket is in the books as we try to determine which player has the best name on the entire roster. Of course, by this time in the tournament it’s really more of a contest on which name supporters are more determined to cheat their choices to the top, but that’s what makes each year’s tournament more interesting.

BUT THE FUN STOPS NOW. There will be no more cheating, because we’re into the Final Four and this is serious business. No more Poll Daddy polls that are vulnerable to hacking. We’re going with the in-house polls, and they are impenetrable. Yes, you should take that as a challenge.

Here’s a look at our final four names:

In a shocking turn of events and dealing a crushing blow to “Name Fatigue,” our final four contenders are all players who have been around for at least the past two seasons. Here’s a breakdown of the matchups.

1 Ezekiel Ansah vs. 5 Quandre Diggs

I’m not sure what people still see in the name Ezekiel Ansah, but I suppose it’s a nice send-off to the man who will may be playing elsewhere in 2019. Of all the years Ziggy has made the final four of this tournament, this seems to be the least deserving, even if I gave him a one seed. But he took out Christian Ringo, and that means he’s a national treasure. Thanks to whoever stuffed nearly 5,000 votes into the ballot for Ansah.

Speaking of vote stuffing, someone in Quandre Diggs’ corner is computer savvy. In the Sweet 16, someone dropped over 14,000 votes to make sure he disposed of Winnemucca’s finest Jace Billingsley. And in the Elite Eight, someone (the same person??) stuffed 2,000 votes worth of ballots in Diggs’ favor to take down the rightful winner, JoJo Wicker.

But at least Quandre Diggs brings something interesting to the table. It’s a unique enough first name that he’s the first person who shows up on the first two pages of a “Quandre” google search. But it’s also a name that’s comfortable. It’s smooth, it’s slick. Try saying it like he’s a Telenovela hero. Me llamo Quandre. [/guitar strum]

1 Miles Killebrew vs. 1 Golden Tate

I am thrilled with this matchup. Two deserving names in the finals in what could be their last tournament appearance ever. Miles Killebrew is just a fantastic name that probably should have won in 2016. It’s rare that a name in this tournament can bring it so hard with the first and last name, but Miles and Killebrew give you everything your dad-joke obsessed heart desires.

Golden Tate is a name that takes one look at the phenomenon known as “Name Fatigue” and flips his butt right into its stupid face. Tate has been in Detroit for five years, and the name is still fantastic, almost surreal. I still look back at my very immature self from 10 years ago that was convinced the voice of Michigan football was saying “Golden Taint” and my very immature self from today still giggles.

VOTE:

(If you can’t see both of the polls above, TOO BAD. Go to our main website, then click on the article. You should be able to see it then.)