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Tailgate recipe: Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid, 2018 edition

Ego-death by football.

Kraft Heinz Launches ‘Feed Your Family, Feed The World’ Program Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Kraft Heinz

There is a good possibility that you know who you are. Such things are relative of course, but the basics are always familiar: name, age, location, so forth and so on. You cannot comprehend your full position in the universe, but a basic geographic understanding relative to a continental plate will do. The point is, you have awareness of the self. You think, therefore you are.

Well folks, with Detroit Lions football we can work to destroy that.

Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid is an idea. It does not exist in the corporeal dimensions. It is a thing we tell ourselves we are drinking, through abstraction and metaphor. We are not truly drinking the kool-aid, but we are envisioning our other(ideal?) self doing so. When does one drink this kool-aid? That is up to the beholder.

Contemplate upon the abstraction as you drink true Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid, the totemic representation. Think upon Platonic ideals as Matthew Stafford charges for a fourth-quarter comeback. Reflect upon Nietzsche’s thoughts of terrifying masks as Detroit gets pummeled on a three-game skid.

Drink, and football shall be the void.

You can visit previous season recipes here: 2017, 2016.

2018 Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid recipe, only for consenting legal drinking age blah blah blah

  • 2 parts tequila blanco
  • 2 parts Hpnotiq
  • 1 part Sambuca
  • 1 part fresh sour mix or lemon juice
  • 1 part pineapple juice
  • Blue curacao until the drink looks blue (1 part, I guess)
  • 4 parts grapefruit soda
  • A general sense of self-loathing that comes with watching NFL football for the purposes of seeking tribal identity with a professional club.
  • A firm belief in malicious conspiracy against the on-field success of the Detroit Lions perpetrated by the Commissioner’s Office of the NFL, the NFL Referees Association, the Green Bay Packers, no less than two-thirds of the Bilderberg Group and Moby.
  • Ice