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NFL Week 7 picks against the spread: Don’t try this at home

On the road past Barstow in search of a juicy under bet.

MGM Resorts International Sells Strip Resorts Circus Circus Las Vegas And Bellagio Resort & Casino Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

What’s more impressive than a .500 record with an odd number of games picked? How about extending that perfectly .500 through another week? That’s what I did baby.

Maybe we can push to win a few more games, but who knows? The NFL has become pretty rife with weirdness lately.

There’s been particular rumors in regards to the Lions and the City of Sin. However, the tales of a sharp following around one officiating crew is, as far as I’m aware, hearsay at this point. It’s particularly juicy though, isn’t it? But chum, there’s no reason to think of malice when we’ve seen, far too often, it’s usually just incompetence in action; if someone is there to make money on that incompetence, all the more likely.

Chris’s Record: 22-22-1 (4-4 last week)

Ryan’s Record: 15-16 (off last week)

San Francisco -9.5 at Washington

I expressed doubt last week that I could consider the 49ers good, but Jeremy insists that they are legitimate, and he’s smarter than me usually. I’ll always keep an eye on Jimmy Garoppolo though.

We’ve done this scheme before, right? Kyle Shanahan might be a good coach, but there’s only so long you can play at a high level with a rock solid defense in spite of a sketchy quarterback. Eventually it gets worse on offense, eventually you lose bits of paint here and there on defense. The Rams are doing it now, and buddy if you don’t think it won’t happen to a York-owned football club you are sadly mistaken.

...But they’re playing Washington so there you go. Ride the hot hand. San Francisco -9.5.

New Orleans at Chicago -3.5

You know how much I love a hook, and here I am betting on this one again. New Orleans +3.5.

LA Chargers at Tennessee -2.5

I might be pretty stupid but somehow I don’t think benching Marcus Mariota is going to save the day for the Titans.

This might be the most blatant attempt by a general manager yet to save his job. The adage, the backup quarterback is everyone’s favorite player, is starkly exploited by coaches and front office personnel alike in hopes that maybe their boss buys the ruse that it’s all just fine to wait a little bit and see how the new guy pans out. Nope. LA Chargers +2.5

Kansas City -3 at Denver

You’ll see this one again in a total just below, but I’m all over the “Thursday Night Football” matchup. The Chiefs are getting people to panic, but some time away from the friendly confines of Arrowhead might just be what they need.

Normally the Broncos’ impressive homefield advantage wears off by October—their record ATS in September, historically, is staggering to behold—and the team itself just isn’t really much to think about. Pieces of its once stellar defense is there, but you can’t just be a defensive team anymore. I can’t see the Chiefs down forever and I’ll lay the points on a bounceback. Kansas City -3.

A few more picks

Kansas City at Denver UNDER 48.5
NY Jets +9.5 vs. New England
Baltimore at Seattle UNDER 49.5

Will the Dolphins beat the spread?

Current line: Miami at Buffalo -17

Dolphins record ATS: 1-4

I can’t believe I got hosed on the Miami line last week. All those idiotic fish had to do was kick a PAT and lose in overtime like good little aquatic excrement. No. You had to lose in the saddest way possible while covering the spread.

Unfortunately I don’t know how to really think on this one. The Bills aren’t exactly a team that scores in buckets. They’d much rather wrestle you in the mud than use that sick bazooka they found in the last house they plundered. But I am sure I’ll regret this. Miami +17.

Ryan’s picks

Chicago -3.5 vs New Orleans
LA Rams -3 at Atlanta
Miami +17 at Buffalo
Houston +1 at Indianapolis
Washington +9.5 vs San Francisco
NY Giants at Arizona UNDER 50.5
LA Chargers +2.5 at Tennessee
Philadelphia +3 at Dallas