Crisp autumn leaves, pumpkins, dead things, sports betting, ginger drinks, apple drinks, cider drinks, chumbawamba and more sports betting.
Are these things you think of for late October or just things I have written as a preamble to some sports betting? Reader, you will never know. I did post a winning record this past week, which means my eternal .500 woes are, for now, over. Let’s go picking.
Chris’s Record: 28-25-1 (5-3 last week)
Ryan’s Record: 19-20 (4-4 last week)
Carolina at San Francisco -5.5
Chris: I got rumbled by the hook last week. Rumbled in the worst kind of way, bamboozled and left to rot. It’s not a pretty scene, and it’s what I get for finally putting my faith in lines involving the 49ers.
However, without things like “rain” and “mud” and “existential dread” there should be no reason to really doubt what San Francisco can do now. Someone will take this ship down, but not a rickety Carolina squad traveling west. San Francisco -5.5.
Ryan: For some unable-to-be-understood reason, this game at just five and a hook is really giving me the creeps—it is spooky season after all.
But ultimately, here’s where the Kyle Allen train comes to its first sharp turn on the tracks. The 49ers did the inexplicable last week when they shut out the opposing team, but somehow managed to not cover the spread. Not two weeks in a row. Not when it’s Allen lining up across from you. Nope, can’t happen. Jimmy Garoppolo, along with the recently acquired Emmanuel Sanders, puts up points in bunches on the Panthers as Riverboat Ron tucks it in for 2019. San Francisco -5.5
Philadelphia at Buffalo -1.5
Ryan: It’s no wonder the Eagles were so involved in the Jalen Ramsey sweepstakes. That secondary in the city of brotherly love, it ain’t so lovely—or good at playing football.
Though I think the Eagles are being bet on a bit too heavily to push this spread all the way down on the Bills at minus one and a hook, I have a good feeling this is the week where the Eagles bounce back. Why? Because the Bills are frauds. Fakes. They’re paper elephants. I promise you. Philadelphia -1.5
Chris: Do we know yet what the Bills are? I don’t. They’re probably the season’s greatest enigma, with easy detractors and harder play to swallow.
The good news here for the Eagles is that the Bills really don’t know what a passing offense is. On the other hand, this seems like the perfect spot for Buffalo to actually show they might mean business for once, and the Eagles aren’t a sturdy team for betting. Buffalo +1.5.
Arizona at New Orleans -10.5
Chris: Huh, I’ve been using a lot of structural adjectives so far in my bets. Let’s see if I can try to avoid that here.
This is one of those games where something as simple as a hook bugs me. For that matter, should the Saints even be going with Drew Brees at this point? It’s a vexing question, but for the cases of this matter of gambling, I don’t think it matters that much in the end. It’d be a lot more preferable to see Alvin Kamara back on the field if anything else. Nonetheless, Arizona is fool’s gold and it’s been waiting for a spot like this to get rumbled. I’ll bite the shot here. New Orleans -10.5
Ryan: Chris had reservations about going with this game, but he’s got a lot to learn about choosing bets like this to get his feet wet. For one, Drew Brees is back: do we think that’s going to be a seamless transition after missing five weeks? Is Alvin Kamara going to play? Too many questions.
I wasn’t paying much attention to the Cardinals after the Lions left the door wide open for Arizona to take each and every advantage to come out of Week 1 with a tie. But the buck didn’t stop there: the Cardinals have battled their way through the first part of their schedule to the tune of a 3-3-1 record! Double-digit spread in a game where the favored team is still on the mend? Arizona +10.5
Tennessee -2.5 at Tampa Bay
Chris: There’s no value in the Titans and there will continue to be no value in this miserable team. This is a dummy pick if I ever made one. Tampa Bay +2.5
Ryan: Tell me there isn’t value in a team who is using their former franchise quarterback as the scout team signal caller this week.
Titans coach Mike Vrabel said Marcus Mariota is running the scout squad this week. Forget comparisons. That means Mariota IS #GoBucs QB Jameis Winston this week.— Rick Stroud (@NFLSTROUD) October 23, 2019
Lions fans were so chapped last year when Mike Vrabel was the healthiest branch extending from the Bill Belichick tree, but let’s make something super clear here: actual good coaching in the NFL is far and few in between. The ugly will eventually come through. Titans, welcome to the first glimpse of ugly. Tampa Bay +2.5
Kansas City +4 at Green Bay
Indianapolis -5.5 vs. Denver
Cleveland vs New England OVER 45.5
Will the Dolphins beat the spread?
Current line: Miami at Pittsburgh -14
Dolphins record ATS: 2-4
Chris: The fact that the Dolphins have covered the last two spreads should send dread and fear down everyone’s spines. Vegas knows how to handicap this terrible team now. Miami +14.
Ryan: The Dolphins did just a fine job when it came to covering the spread against the “Not as Good as you Think” Buffalo Bills. I think they keep things rolling ATS by taking care of the Steelers.
Wait a second... both of us putting money on the fish? This stinks. Minkah Fitzpatrick is due for some big plays against his former team—maybe good for a turnover or two. It’s much easier to root for Pittsburgh when they aren’t quarterbacked by the under-scourge of the earth. Steelers -14