NFL Week 14 picks against the spread: Back at it

We took the holidays off as I clashed with a medical issue and Ryan clashed with turkey. But money can’t wait much longer. We need to move, move, move.

Dallas -3 at Chicago

Chris: After beating up on the Lions, the Bears are good and gassed up, everyone believing them to be back on track. Newsflash, the Lions suck and the defense sucks even more, so Trubisky doing well means jack all.

Meanwhile, Dallas just got embarrassed on a national stage and is somehow turning around and laying three points on the road. No I don’t understand it either, but that’s what you get betting on a public team sometimes. Anyway, in an ugly Thursday night game, I’ll take the Cowboys, no real other analysis is available here for me. Dallas -3.

Ryan: The NFC East is an unmitigated disaster. It’s a pile up on I-75: it’s going absolutely nowhere in a hurry, and I couldn’t care less about any of the teams in that division. Seriously, it’s some of the sloppiest, most inconsistent football from week to week, and while that normally wouldn’t bother me, you have two of the most annoying fanbases—Philly and Dallas—swearing their teams are actually good. No, no, here’s what actually good looks like:

Interesting that both of these teams played on Thursday last week and here they are again. I’m giving the advantage to Chicago in this one because Dallas had trouble containing Josh Allen last week, so here’s to running back Mitchell Trubisky making a resurgence. Chicago +3.

Baltimore -5.5 @ Buffalo

Chris: Starting to think Ryan is picking the games where he knows he can count on Buffalo to lose in order to spite me. Joke’s on him; this game has dummy weird written all over it and I’m feeling froggy. Buffalo +5.5.

Ryan: I am, and nothing else from the stupid world of football this weekend will bring me as much joy as seeing the paper elephants get absolutely thrashed in Orchard Park by the human steamroller that is Lamar Jackson—future NFL MVP. Baltimore -5.5.

Miami at NY Jets -5.5

Chris: Hey, remember when the Jets lost to the Dolphins and handed them their first win on the season? To a team that everyone believed would go winless? Ha ha! What hijinks. I can’t imagine, for even a split second, that the Jets would embarrass themselves again and let Miami sweep them. I can’t see that at all, no sir! Miami +5.5.

Ryan: The fish are hot, and while a lot of us were expecting them to be beached failure with another Belichick disciple at the helm, Brian Flores has this team playing some inspired football over the past few weeks. A Ryan Fitzpatrick revenge game is entirely in play here—and highly probable. When the Dolphins earned that aforementioned first win over the Jets, it would have been hard to imagine the Jets dipping to lower depths this season, but then they went and gifted the Bengals with their first win of the season.

The 2019 New York Jets: the most generous and giving football team this holiday season! Miami +5.5.

San Francisco at New Orleans -2.5

Ryan: The 49ers aren’t quite the Bills of the NFC, and we’ll learn that by the transitive property this weekend, but I don’t believe in them being as good as their record indicates. The Seahawks finally assumed the top spot in the NFC West for the first time this season after gutting out a win on Monday night, pushing their win streak to five. The 49ers, on the other hand, are just 2-2 over their last four games, and it ain’t getting any easier when they travel to New Orleans.

The betting general public must believe in the 49ers with the Saints not even being favored by the standard three points at home, so you’re all losers if you’re riding with the Niners. New Orleans -2.5.

Chris: I think we can all appreciate that December has lined up nicely to give us playoff preview games. Given the amount of hopelessness among Lions fans reading this blog, plus the other number of teams that are pretty much stank to watch, it would be unbearable without the great coincidence that the best teams just so happen to clash late in the schedule.

I suppose the proper side to take here is New Orleans at home, given what we know about home field advantage here. But I like the 49ers in a bounce back game, even if I have questions about George Kittle’s health. The 49ers are just too strong this year to have me worried too much. San Francisco +2.5.

Personal Picks

Chris

New England -3 vs. Kansas City
Seattle at LA Rams UNDER 47
Oakland +2 vs. Tennessee

Ryan

Kansas City at New England UNDER 49
Tennessee -2 at Oakland
New York Giants +9.5 at Philadelphia