Ranking the 2019 NFL Schedule Release videos

It was finally time for the NFL to release the 2019 season schedule. Many teams took the opportunity to get creative with videos highlighting their matches. There are so many great people involved with their social media, and it’s worth appreciating the job they did to make our day a little bit brighter. Well, some of them.

Let’s rank them.

32. Dallas Cowboys

ASMR isn’t my thing. It personally creeps me out. But you know what creeps me out more? Jerry Jones doing ASMR. Just look at that smile and that wink. shudders

31. Detroit Lions

I love the Detroit Lions social media team. They’ve made some great content in the past, and we at Pride of Detroit have had multiple amazing interactions with them. However, this video is bad. It doesn’t come off as comedic at all. It’s essentially a collection of gifs from “The Office,” an overrated television show. Yes, I said it. Fight me.

The Lions did post another schedule release video, and while it is far superior, I am excluding it from my rankings because it was not the original.

30. San Francisco 49ers

They did not release a video. Still better than what the Cowboys did.

29. New Orleans Saints

It’s a fine video, but that’s it. It’s just sights and sounds from New Orleans with the schedule posted on top. It gets the job done, but it’s not something you’ll remember or laugh about.

28. Miami Dolphins

27. Chicago Bears

26. Oakland Raiders

I’ve grouped these three together because they all fall under the same category: they’re highlight reels. They’re well made, sure, but this is a time to be creative. Have some fun with it. While Gruden talking about the old Raiders footage for two minutes is an interesting touch, it’s also Gruden talking about old Raiders footage for two minutes.

25. Denver Broncos

I respect the effort that went into this Madden video, but truth be told, it’s just dull.

24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Much like the Saints’ video, it’s highlighting locations in Tampa, Florida. However, I really like the touches that they added with the neon-like images. Plus the music is funky.

(Watch the video here)

23. Cincinnati Bengals

Much like the Saints’ video, it’s highlighting locations in Cincinnati, Ohio. However, I like that they included their mascot roaming around.

22. Philadelphia Eagles

I’ll be honest, I don’t know who a lot of these people are. But apparently they’re celebrities, so I guess that’s cool.

21. Tennessee Titans

I’ll be honest, I don’t know who a lot of these people are. But apparently they’re country artists, so I guess that’s cool.

20. New York Giants

Tracy Morgan is a funny guy, but his SNL skills aren’t really showcased in this video. There are quite a few misses, but he’s a charming personality that redeems the video with his presence alone.

19. Kansas City Chiefs

The Chiefs have another highlight video, this one showing memorable moments from their matchups. However, unlike the Raiders’ video, this one doesn’t have Gruden talking. I tell you what, that’s a positive in my books.

18. Los Angeles Rams

The war room setup is clever, but at four minutes in length, it really drones on. As well, most of the dates are announced via a muffled voice over a radio. Decent idea, mediocre execution. Just like their play in the Super Bowl.

17. Cleveland Browns

There has to be some irony with the Browns using fax. In 2017, the Browns were trying to trade for A.J. McCarron at the trade deadline. However, the deal got nixed at the last minute, and one of the rumored reasons was due to the Browns failing to fax the league office in time.

History aside, while Dorsey is entertaining as a man stuck in an office of the past, the actual schedule reveal aspect of the video isn’t great — you can barely read the dates.

16. Washington Redskins

The graphic design for this video is excellent, matching the award-winning television show to a T. However, they are the unfortunate victim of circumstance: two other teams also made Game of Thrones videos, and they were superior. What brings down Washington’s is the lack of other cities, which Game of Thrones’ intro is known for having.

15. Minnesota Vikings

Haikus can be good

Though this video is weird

Yet still I love it

14. New England Patriots

While I enjoy this video and Bad Lip Readings, this trend has long since passed. Still, there are a few chuckles to be found.

13. Arizona Cardinals

It starts off real well as a horror movie, however it never reaches its full potential, instead devolving into a highlight reel. The other noteworthy part is that aside from a frame or two, Josh Rosen is nowhere to be found. Are they tipping their hand for the draft?

12. Buffalo Bills

This Tinder-esque video is chalked full of hilarious stabs at teams and players, all to excellent success. However, it also makes me think of what a Bills’ profile would consist of. Probably a lot of bad decisions and table smashing. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t swipe right on them.

11. Green Bay Packers

They’re the Packers. It’s Pac-Man. It’s simple, obvious, but well-executed.

10. Houston Texans

The Texans come in with the second Game of Thrones video. This one features numerous stadiums, which is an upgrade over Washington’s, though they don’t use the actual Game of Thrones theme—I’m not sure how copyright works anymore. The problem with the video is that it shows the teams by division and not schedule. As a result, it’s somewhat difficult to grasp who is playing when until the very last 10 seconds of the video.

9. New York Jets

There’s just something about classic video game parodies that I love. The over-the-top sounds, the pixelated graphics, or the nostalgia of playing them as a kid. The Jets bring back some great memories in an excellent video.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers

There’s something about “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” that’s unequivocally pure and wholesome. This doesn’t happen to fit the identity of the Pittsburgh Steelers, but it’s nonetheless a great tribute to an iconic show.

There’s a glaring flaw with this video, one that prevents it from being even higher on my list: the dates are out of order. It would have been so simple to put them in order! And they don’t even have a recap like the Texans’ video!

7. Indianapolis Colts

Just like how the Colts are carried by Andrew Luck, so, too, is this video. Luck just screams dullness, but this video is so awkward that it’s beautiful. The ‘fun’ facts that Luck gives are totally something that I could see him mentioning in a locker room meeting.

6. Seattle Seahawks

We’ve seen a few video games on this list (and it won’t be the last), but this Seahawks mobile side-scroller has some excellent graphic and audio design, legitimately looking like a game I could purchase on my phone. However, much like mobile apps, there are ads in it. I don’t want to pay for the ad-free version either, so I guess I’ll be stuck with my Pizza Hut powerups.

5. Baltimore Ravens

There’s nothing quite like cheesy, over-the-top television commercials, and the Ravens absolutely nail it. Large text, explosions, and an intense voice proclaiming “SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!” are classic.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars

Another team representing the fad of cheesy television skits, the Jaguars come in with an infomercial with tackiness to rival their old gold and black helmets. There’s nothing I love more than intentional awkwardness, and there are plenty of hilarious jabs at teams.

3. Carolina Panthers

As previously mentioned, there have been plenty of video game based videos. However, the Panthers take the cake with outstanding design coupled with a multitude of game parodies.

2. Atlanta Falcons

The top-ranked Game of Thrones parody is courtesy of the Falcons. Much like the previous ones, the video features incredible graphics. However, what sets it apart is the joke towards the division rival Saints. At this point, we all know about the controversial call in their playoff game against the Rams. The Falcons poke fun at it during the video—I won’t spoil where it is, but it vaults the video towards the top of my list.

1. Los Angeles Chargers

Words cannot do this video justice. It’s so incredibly stupid and beautiful.