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Detroit Lions vs. New England Patriots: What just happened?

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A collection of thoughts on the Lions first preseason game

New England Patriots v Detroit Lions Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images

The Lions did something at Ford Field Thursday night in their 31-3 loss to the New England Patriots. I don’t really know what it was, but it was something really ugly. I mean I’m writing this article with 8:33 left in the second quarter and all I can think about is how much easier it would be to cover the Pats for a living. I was so bored by the Lions’ non-highlight reel that I started watching this on my phone.

I asked if I could just write an article about sleepy dogs, but they said that I’m contractually obligated to give my thoughts. So here it goes, I guess. These are those thoughts.

This team needs all its parts

I mean this is pretty obvious, right? Of course they do. The Lions went out there without just about everyone and got absolutely beat up in every facet of the game. The rookies looked like rookies, the depth players looked like guys that shouldn't be depth players and this backup quarterback situation....

I can’t make this up. The Lions passed for exactly -11 net yards until the very last drive of the night when things finally clicked for David Fales. Until they didn’t again.

The good thing is the Lions don’t have to go into the regular season like this. Basically nobody played Thursday night and it really showed. Still, there’s some concerns that could leak over to the season.

The offensive line looked rough. Really rough

This wasn’t just an issue deep in the game with camp bodies out there. There were issues when the starters were on the field. The first series went like this:

  • Two rushes by C.J. Anderson that went for 2 yards
  • A sack
  • a holding call.

Look, I know this was the first time these guys have got some live reps in an actual game this year, but man it was bad.

When the reserves came in for the second series, things only got worse. They allowed Tom Savage to get sacked two times in a row to end the series and Savage’s night. The problems with the line continued to persist all night as the Lions rotated starters and backups all over. The Lions, in all, allowed nine sacks and were only able to run for 73 yards. Ouch.

You ever see that scene in Scanners where the dude’s head blows up?

That’s what will happen to us all if Matthew Stafford gets hurt and the Lions have to go with Tom Savage or David Fales for the season.

The Lions, no doubt, have the worst backup quarterback situation in the NFL. And boy did it show Thursday night. Tom Savage went 2-3 for 40 yards before getting sacked a gazillion times and had to leave the game.

David Fales was just 2-4 with 13 yards and an interception at halftime. Seriously. That’s not a typo. He played the rest of the game and finished the night going 5-for-14 for 62 yards.

The Lions have a real issue here, because their options outside of a possible trade are the likes of Geno Smith, Brock Osweiler or Landry Jones. Anyone else suddenly need a barf bag? Or... they could do the smart thing.

Let’s see here. Good things, good things. hmm...

Well, I mean Tom Savage had a really nice pass to Brandon Powell in the first quarter. Jamal Agnew followed that up with a really nice pass breakup on the following series. Miles Killebrew continues to make a case for himself. Just when you think it’s over for him, he comes out and has a good camp and performed pretty well Thursday night. Ty Johnson is fast.

Who are we kidding? This was a total train wreck and even the good stuff wasn’t that good. The best offensive highlight of game came from a member of the crowd.

Preseason is a useless hazard

What’s the point of these games? Sure, it’s nice for some guys that aren’t going to make the 53 to get some film out there for the next team that’s going to give them a shot. But outside of that, it’s a hazard to players that’s completely unnecessary.

Jermaine Kearse, who the Lions just signed in June, suffered a broken leg in the first quarter and will likely be out for the season.

This is just sad. Kearse is in his eighth year in the league and had a chance to be an integral part of the Lions offense as its fourth receiver.

Darius Kilgo also went down holding his knee in the first half of the game, He just came of the NFI list and who knows what this will mean for his chances to make the team. Kenny Wiggins also saw the trainers about his foot/ankle. P.J. Johnson limped off the field in the fourth quarter, but eventually returned.

These games need to end, because not only does it ruin things for players, it ruins things for the fans. We lose out on the opportunity to see players shine because they got hurt in a game many fans can’t even see because they don’t live in the area the game is shown.

Speaking of preseason

Seriously people, the Lions didn’t have anyone out there. The Patriots didn’t either. Everything that was done was vanilla. It’s all fake. It’s not real. It’s all a part of your imagination.

Everybody just calm down.