Detroit Lions vs New Orleans Saints: What Just Happened?

Ugh. Welp, the Lions are a really bad football team. How bad are they? They’re as bad as the construction company that rebuilt the Death Star and still left the womp rat-sized opening. They’re as bad at football as Sid Vicious is coming off the top rope. Okay, let me do one more and then I’ll stop. The Lions were so bad in 35-29 loss to the Saints that I would rather watch “Halloween 6: The Curse Of Michael Myers “on repeat in the pit of despair. And this happened in that movie.

In this case, the Michael Myers half-assed reach to grab his victims is like the Lions trying to tackle Alvin Kamara.

As always, I have thoughts on this game, these are tough thoughts.

Lions fans overreacted, but not about what you think

I’m half-kidding here. For the most part, Lions fans kept their cool after the team won its first game in almost a year. Where everyone overreacted is thinking that the Lions might actually turn things around for the better going forward. That, and even having a glimmer of hope the Lions could beat the Saints on Sunday.

Where Lions fans didn’t overreact at all was in the feelings they had about Bob Quinn and Matt Patricia during the first two weeks of the season. This was the dagger in the heart of their run in Detroit. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if one of the two is let go this week.

The Lions horrible performance against the Saints was all the evidence that Sheila Ford Hamp should need to know that Matt Patricia can’t handle this job. He’s clearly in over his head; Bob Quinn is, as well. The Lions just need to admit that they took a swing on a couple of guys that can’t do the job and missed. It’s over. Now, we just wait.

Worst defense in the NFL

There’s no debate here anymore. That was a total and complete embarrassment. The Lions got run over all day long, they couldn’t tackle a soul, and they at no time appeared to try something to resolve their issues. We keep waiting for the “defensive genius” to show up and draw up something that works for this team, but instead it’s the same old man coverage that doesn’t work and unwillingness to rush the passer.

The run defense was nonexistent. The Lions allowed 164 rushing yards and three rushing touchdowns. You would have thought that the Lions would have at least accidentally found a way to stop it, but they couldn’t do that either.

It’s like Matt Patricia was sent back in time to destroy the Lions on purpose sometimes. I mean, if Patricia is like the Terminator and he was sent back to destroy the Lions in order to save the world from nuclear like destruction, just tell us that. I promise nobody will be mad.

Running the ball late down 14 points

What in the blue hell were the Lions doing there? I hate to bring up the idea that the Lions gave up, but what would you call it? The Lions get the ball back with great field position after a shanked punt and they run it several times and burn time off the clock? A two touchdown deficit is a lot at that point in the game I suppose, but this type of play calling is all you need to see to know Patricia is bad at this. I mean this is the difference between winning head coaches and losing head coaches. You have to always play like a miracle can happen at any point.

The Lions comeback attempt was admirable, but you can’t ignore how much they stifled that attempt by running the ball and wasting so much time doing it. I’m not saying the Lions were going to win, but they have a real shot at it if they have more time. The game management issues continue to bite this team.

The Saints did this to the Lions with basically nobody

Just a quick reminder. The Saints were missing their Pro Bowl receiver, Pro Bowl left guard, both starting corners, starting tight end, starting defensive end and they even lost more players during the game. They scored more points than they have in any game all year. That’s how bad the Lions are.

Good stuff

Jack Fox.

What’s wrong with Matthew Stafford?

It’s no secret that I love Matthew Stafford. He’s probably my favorite player of all time and I have no problem saying that. But, he’s been pretty off in 2020. It really showed early on in the game on Sunday when he threw an ugly interception and missed on a few other throws. It’s hard to ignore at this point. Even if he did throw for multiple touchdowns on Sunday, something is just not right.

Having said that, it’s just an observation. I am in absolutely no way saying the Lions should trade Stafford or that Stafford is done being a good player and the Lions need to move on and draft a rookie quarterback. I am not saying that at all. I’m simply saying that Stafford needs to figure out what’s going on with him and correct it.

Thank god for the bye week

Let me just write a very quick letter to the Lions and their owners from the fans.

Dear Lions,

Why are you doing this to us? What did we do to deserve this? Why do you want to hurt us? I think it’s time we do a trial separation during the bye week. It’s not you. We’re just really focused on our careers right now and we’re not emotionally available. Let’s just take some time apart and and try to figure out what the heart wants. Here’s some easy listening for you. We feel this best explains how we feel right now.