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Detroit Lions vs. Minnesota Vikings quick thoughts: What Just Happened?

A collection of thoughts on the Lions’ Week 9 loss.

Detroit Lions v Minnesota Vikings Photo by Stephen Maturen/Getty Images

Coming into Week 9, the Lions hadn’t won a divisional game in 679 days. After an embarrassing 34-20 loss to the Minnesota Vikings, make that 680. It goes without saying: that’s pretty bad.

As always, I have thoughts on this game, and these are those thoughts.

That’s probably going to do it for Bob Quinn and Matt Patricia

Oh, did you think they were off the hook after the miracle in Atlanta? Since that game the Lions have allowed 75 points and have lost two embarrassing games in a row. The kind of losses you get fired for.

If it wasn’t clear before, it’s crystal clear now: Matt Patricia should have just kept that engineering job. There may be such a thing as a defensive genius, but that dude doesn’t work in Detroit.

This regime has systematically broken the Lions apart and brought them back to the dark ages. Seriously, this team is like 2006 levels of bad at this point. Once Quinn leaves his parting gift of not getting Golladay a new contract, they’ll be knocking on the 2009 door again. The drafting has been bad, the trading has been bad, the allowing of great players to leave has been bad, and most of all, the on-field product has been bad. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about the last three years.

Do not at all be surprised if the Lions let both Patricia and Quinn go as early as Monday. There’s nothing else that needs to be seen at this point. The decision is easy.

Is Matthew Stafford broken?

I absolutely hate that I’m writing this right now. I’m a big fan of Stafford and he’s obviously the best quarterback this franchise has ever had. But those days might be over. He is just not himself in 2020. His accuracy is off, his footwork is reverting back to the pre-Caldwell days, and you can’t help but think the guy is just pissed off every second of every game. I would be too if I’ve been on a team for 11 years and they still can’t find a way to not allow me to get hit multiple times per game.

I’m not putting it all on Stafford. He doesn’t deserve all the blame. Darrell Bevell’s play-calling is predictable, the offensive line is bad, and his receivers are incapable of getting separation. I mean, what can you even do if you’re Stafford? Still, he’s taking chances that he doesn’t need to take. That’s usually cool when it works, and it does often, but that’s not working in 2020.

I’m not at all saying the Lions need to trade him or let him go. I am, however, saying that there should be some worry that the dark days are upon us.

How can you not laugh?

I know you’re mad. You should be. At the same time, when it rains for the Lions, it monsoons. Everything that can possibly go wrong, always goes wrong. Stafford goes out with a possible concussion, Dalvin Cook takes one 70 yards to the house, Duron Harmon punches a guy, and then Chase Daniel comes in and immediately throws an interception. This all happened in like two minutes. It’s just hilarious right? Right?!

Give Brayden with the good hair the job

Seriously, why not? The Lions special teams unit is the best part of this team. They’re blocking punts like it’s going out of style and Jack Fox is a superstar. The special teams return unit is also making tackles and their return game isn’t half bad either. On the flip side, the other two Lions units are as bad as you could imagine. So why not, in what is now a meaningless season, have a little fun and see if maybe you can get lucky and accidentally find something that works. Plus, I mean, come on, a guy with hair that great clearly pays attention to detail.

Matt Prater is an issue

I’m done beating around the bush on this subject. It’s over for Matt Prater. It sucks. I don’t want to say that and I don’t want to believe it. How can you tell me any different at this point? It’s not just one missed kick here and there. It’s one or more per game at this point. It’s also kicks from well inside his range. So add that to the long list of issues the Lions have coming up in 2021.

This is truly the darkest timeline for the Lions

Yes, the Lions went 0-16 in 2008. The big difference between then and now is that the Lions weren’t a good team that tripped and fell into an 0-16 season. These Lions were a team that was just supposed to take the next step and instead fell down the steps like Joe Fauria chasing his puppy around.

At this point. it almost feels purposeful. It’s like there’s an asteroid heading towards Earth and the only way to stop it is hire drillers to go to space and drill the asteroid in half so one half goes around and misses earth and the other half hits every single Lions fan directly in the face at the same time. I mean, I really do wanna close my eyes and I do wanna miss a thing at this point.

Things are only going downhill from here Lions fans. This nightmare is probably going to last longer than the others.

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