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Lions Festivus 2022: The Feats of Strength

Festivus doesn’t end until you pin Dan Campbell

SLUG: ME/FESTIVUS1 DATE: 12/17/2008 CREDIT: Sarah L. Voisin Photo by Sarah L. Voisin/The The Washington Post via Getty Images

We keep sacred that most holy secular day of Festivus, to which we give all tiding and cheer. What was once a joke of a sitcom nobody actually ever saw—it sprung forth, fully formed, and was immediately placed in endless reruns—has now taken perch here at Pride of Detroit, where we have semi-regularly kept up with Festivus traditions like no other.

Now that we have aired our grievances, it is time for the Feats of Strength. In lieu of taking off our shirts and wrestling, we have decided for a more tasteful act by naming some amazing feats done by Detroit Lions players, coaches, or fans.

Chris Perfett: Last Festivus my feat went to Dan Campbell and his ridiculous coffee order, and it’s only fitting we ascribe again Campbell’s nonsense. Participating in up-downs with his team, and somehow keeping up with it all to boot. I think this Festivus, we should all get fit and follow his example.

Morgan Cannon: I am going with a mental feat of strength this year. When Amon-Ra St. Brown rattled off all 16 receivers selected before him, I was impressed with his memory, as well as his level of pettiness.

Then for him to name drop poor Dyami Brown after the Lions Week 2 victory over the Washington Commandersultra petty. If that is what keeps his fire burning, I am all for it.

Jeremy Reisman: Penei Sewell slapping Vikings safety Josh Metellus after he just caught the game-clinching pass vs. the Vikings is the most alpha move I have ever seen on a football field. A true feat of strength is not only imposing your will but crushing the body and spirit of your enemy. Metellus now joins former Vikings safety Andrew Sendejo—who got a butt-first taste of Golden Tate back in 2016—among the ranks of NFC North defenders who were humiliated by Lions players during a game-winning play.

Ryan Mathews: Since he dropped the first pass of the final drive against the New York Jets, catching a pass on fourth-and-inches for a 51-yard touchdown to take the lead is one helluva way to flex, Brock Wright. Think about it, Brock went from being the wrong target to the... Wright one.

Erik Schlitt: Time for some Jamaal Williams love. His 14 rushing touchdowns so far this season are not only a career-high, but they are more than he produced in his during his first five seasons in the NFL combined. He is currently tied for the second-most rushing touchdowns in a single season in team history (Barry Sanders, 1989) and is two away from pulling even with the franchise record (Sanders, 1991). And speaking of literal strength, Williams’ eight rushing touchdowns from 1-yard out from the goalline is the most in franchise history, topping Billy Sims’ record of 7 back in 1980.

Hamza Baccouche: Michael Badgley’s 51-yard field goal to tie the game against the Bills on Thanksgiving. Badgley has bounced around the league since being released by the Chargers, whose fanbase told us upon his arrival in Detroit that he’s a good kicker as long as it’s within 45 yards and not a high-pressure kick. Talk about proving them wrong. That was Badgley’s first kick as a Lion from that range and with that pressure, he laid his balls on the table for the country to see and held true to the moniker of Money Badger.

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