clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

25 headline options for aspiring, reactionary Detroit Lions columnists

Detroit Lions columnists are running out of things to write about. So we’re here to help with headlines sure to farm clicks and engagement.

Detroit Lions vs Chicago Bears Photo by Amy Lemus/NurPhoto via Getty Images

We here in Detroit have had a long history of... let’s just say “contentious” columnists. In particular, opinion pieces surrounding the Detroit Lions have ranged from reactionary to alarmist to downright stupid. Of course, this franchise has warranted it for decades and decades of losing, but with the team legitimately turning a corner now, the job of a Lions columnist is getting tougher. And that is plainfully obvious to anyone seeing some of the local columns out there right now.

We here at Pride of Detroit don’t want Detroit’s illustrious history of fearmongers and pearl clutchers to fade away. And with no football activities on the horizon for the next six weeks, we could be in real danger of that.

So for all current and aspiring Detroit Lions columnists, the staff here at Pride of Detroit have compiled a list of 25 headlines you can use during this downtime of Lions football. WE GOTTA KEEP THE CLICK AND ENGAGEMENT FARM GOING!


  1. The Detroit Lions should trade for Lamar Jackson just to prove Jameson Williams wrong
  2. Jameson Williams needs a mentor, but would Baby Gronk put up with Williams’ immaturity?
  3. Time to cut Jameson Williams, give Eric Ebron a second chance
  4. Is Lions video department too busy deleting footage of Jameson Williams’ drops to finish ‘Inside the Den’?
  5. How hiring Matt Millen could help Lions bounce back after drafting another WR bust
  6. Calvin Johnson shouldn’t be Jameson Williams’ mentor, he should replace him on the field
  7. Will “Quitter Calvin” do more harm than good as Jameson Williams’ mentor?
  8. Sheila HEMP: Why letting Calvin Johnson back is latest embarrassment from Lions ownership
  9. Even if Jahmyr Gibbs surpasses Barry Sanders on the all-time rushing list, he wasn’t worth the 12th overall pick as an RB
  10. If Jared Goff is a better QB than he was in LA, why hasn’t he won a Super Bowl like Matthew Stafford?
  11. After Pro Bowler T.J. Hockenson couldn’t cut it, Lions draft yet another Iowa tight end?
  12. With foot surgery no longer an option, it’s time to release Frank Ragnow
  13. If Frank Ragnow was a true team player, like Ronnie Lott, he’d amputate toe
  14. Why Kerby Joseph will regress in 2023 now that Aaron Rodgers is out of Green Bay
  15. Forget trading Taylor Decker, Penei Sewell’s trade value has never been higher
  16. After not drafting an EDGE, Brad Holmes proves he doesn’t know how to build a roster
  17. Lions failure to communicate the NFL’s gambling rules makes Matt Patricia era look not so bad
  18. Dave Fipp should resign after minicamp kicker clown show
  19. Ford Field’s new and “improved” turf can’t shake it off: Why there’s cause for concern after fans notice no difference during Taylor Swift’s “Eras” tour
  20. If Mohamed Ibrahim can’t even pronounce his own name right, he has no shot for the Lions roster
  21. Ted Lasso finale, a reminder that Jameson Williams is more Season 1 Jamie Tartt than Season 3
  22. WATCH: Dan Campbell’s coffee order could lead to “serious heart condition” according to Starbucks doctor
  23. Jared Goff destined to lose every primetime game after channeling Kirk Cousins with “bling bling” stunt
  24. Hendon Hooker is actually older than his own father, behind the real reason for his fall in this past April’s NFL Draft
  25. The Chicago Bears will win the NFC North

NEW: Join Pride of Detroit Direct

Jeremy Reisman will drop into your inbox twice a week to provide exclusive, in-depth reporting and insights from Ford Field. Subscribe to go deeper into Lions fandom, and join us on our path to win the Super Bowl.